Briva, this is a subject that is on my mind All. The. Time.!!!
My parents are ok right now. Dad is 8, Mom is 78. She has health issues....macular degeneration...very bad...failing vision, and ulcerative colitis - which keeps her homebound and close to a bathroom. Her mind is VERY sharp! My dad's physical health is incredible...even his dr told him that he was in better shape than most 40 year olds...and that's the truth. His mental state worries me some, though....and it bothers my mom, too. He is very forgetful (which he has always been on the disorganized/forgetful side to begin with), but every little thing he forgets bothers him and he gets angry and frustrated about it. My mom has to make most of the major decisions, now, and she hates that! He has talked to his dr. about this....his dr asked him if he could find his car in the parking lot when he went shopping...find his way home, etc. (he has to do all of the shopping, grocery shopping, running errands, etc, as my mom can't leave the house.) And he has no problem with any of this. I know, because I try to get out with him whenever I go up there, just to keep an eye on this kind of thing. He is really amazing. He doesn't wear glasses, and he can get down on the floor on one knee and just pop right back up! I can't even do that!!!! I need a crane...or at least 2 kids...to pull me up!
They are financially secure and they will NOT move! It would make it easier for me if they would move closer to me, but that won't happen. We put a small double-wide on the lot next door to their house, which makes it much easier for me to visit them (they live 4 hours away), and I can move in there long-term when the time comes.
I only have one sister -who lives 2 hours away from my parents. She is single and works, so most of the care-taking - right now anyway - falls on me. I would love to have a job, even part-time, but I don't know what I could do that would give me any flexibility and allow me to make a spur-of-the-moment trip up to my parents should the need arise. The trailer and lot are in my name, and their house is in my sister's name. We both have power of attorney, and durable power of attorney. They have all their funeral arrangements made and paid for. They have done everything they can possibly think of as far as "estate planning" goes.
I am just trying to mentally prepare myself to make a long-term move up there....which isn't all bad...it's in the North GA mountains and it is beautiful...but it is hard to leave everything that is comfortable and familiar.
Ok...I know I'm just rambling here and haven't really helped you out at all, Briva. But taking care of my parents is a topic that is close to my heart right now. It's not an easy place to be, but it is a good place....I want to do the best I can for them.