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 Post subject: Newbie- Sticking to Routine
PostPosted: Wed Jul 06, 2016 6:29 pm 
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Joined: Wed Jul 06, 2016 5:32 pm
Posts: 6
Location: Texas
Hi!

I'm just officially starting homeschool August 1st. I have a 4 year old, 2.5 year old and a 1.5 year old, all girls. I'm DEAD set on home schooling. I've been researching and dabbling for 3 years. I bought my LOTW curriculum 2 years ago and we did a few letters here and there, but I found it difficult to stick with the home schooling routine. When we were teaching, we all LOVED it! It was energizing and fun. But I'd get to the end of the week and would put off planning and prepping for the following week until the week started and then I'd say "next week" until "next week" turned into "never".

This time, I am planning the entire year in advance. Knowing that planning each week was a hang up for me before, I want to get that out of the way ahead of time. I planned for a M, T, Th, F, schedule to give us PLENTY of make-up/expansion time each week. And we are schooling year round with 3 weeks off for Christmas, several breaks throughout the winter (I am especially hard to motivate in the cold months), and a few throughout the year for family time and vacations. I also have at least 2 weeks worth of "open" school days sprinkled throughout for, again, make-up/expansion days.

I feel I've adequately allowed for bad days, hard lessons, busy seasons and the like. However, I am still pretty concerned that I will be the snag in my own vision! I'm a planner. I LOVE planning. But I stink at follow-through. As a kid, I basically raised myself. As an adult, I find I could use a nagging mother following me around to make sure I do what I'm supposed to be doing. Only I'm the mom now and the teacher and I'm supposed to be responsible enough for all of us and set an example. I can preach it all day long, but at 6am when my alarm is going off, it's so easy to just turn it off. When it's rainy and gross outside, it's so easy to just say "let's just skip school today and we'll make it up tomorrow". And I lack that drive to get me from what I want in the moment to what I want long term. Just like a kid who never grew up in that area.

Long term, I want more than anything to homeschool my kids and be a homesteading housewife. The vision is solid. The interest and inspiration is there. The plans are laid. I have all the tools I need. I just have this glaring character flaw I'm worried will ruin it all! My kids are still little so I've got some more time to teach myself to be disciplined, but I dread waking up a year from now, finding I've done nothing and having to resign. My question is this:

Are there any other lazy, procrastinating, undisciplined moms out there who overcame that junk to become a successful homeschool parent??? If so, what did you do??

Tell me I'm not alone!

-Nicole

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Wife to 1 and mother of 3 beautiful DDs Munchkin (4), Pumpkin (2) Sweet Pea (1)


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 Post subject: Re: Newbie- Sticking to Routine
PostPosted: Wed Jul 06, 2016 8:56 pm 
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Joined: Sat Jun 30, 2012 11:01 pm
Posts: 2491
P31Gal wrote:
Hi!

I'm just officially starting homeschool August 1st. I have a 4 year old, 2.5 year old and a 1.5 year old, all girls. I'm DEAD set on home schooling. I've been researching and dabbling for 3 years. I bought my LOTW curriculum 2 years ago and we did a few letters here and there, but I found it difficult to stick with the home schooling routine. When we were teaching, we all LOVED it! It was energizing and fun. But I'd get to the end of the week and would put off planning and prepping for the following week until the week started and then I'd say "next week" until "next week" turned into "never".

This time, I am planning the entire year in advance. Knowing that planning each week was a hang up for me before, I want to get that out of the way ahead of time. I planned for a M, T, Th, F, schedule to give us PLENTY of make-up/expansion time each week. And we are schooling year round with 3 weeks off for Christmas, several breaks throughout the winter (I am especially hard to motivate in the cold months), and a few throughout the year for family time and vacations. I also have at least 2 weeks worth of "open" school days sprinkled throughout for, again, make-up/expansion days.

I feel I've adequately allowed for bad days, hard lessons, busy seasons and the like. However, I am still pretty concerned that I will be the snag in my own vision! I'm a planner. I LOVE planning. But I stink at follow-through. As a kid, I basically raised myself. As an adult, I find I could use a nagging mother following me around to make sure I do what I'm supposed to be doing. Only I'm the mom now and the teacher and I'm supposed to be responsible enough for all of us and set an example. I can preach it all day long, but at 6am when my alarm is going off, it's so easy to just turn it off. When it's rainy and gross outside, it's so easy to just say "let's just skip school today and we'll make it up tomorrow". And I lack that drive to get me from what I want in the moment to what I want long term. Just like a kid who never grew up in that area.

Long term, I want more than anything to homeschool my kids and be a homesteading housewife. The vision is solid. The interest and inspiration is there. The plans are laid. I have all the tools I need. I just have this glaring character flaw I'm worried will ruin it all! My kids are still little so I've got some more time to teach myself to be disciplined, but I dread waking up a year from now, finding I've done nothing and having to resign. My question is this:

Are there any other lazy, procrastinating, undisciplined moms out there who overcame that junk to become a successful homeschool parent??? If so, what did you do??

Tell me I'm not alone!

-Nicole



Welcome Nicole. Your oldest is the only one, in my opinion, to focus on and even then, way too young to have a set curricula of any kind.

At this age, lap books are a GREAT way to learn. They are hands on and very fun to do. https://www.pinterest.com/search/pins/? ... Ks%7Ctyped

Read books to them or have books on audio for them to listen to. When my son was in Kindergarten, he was struggling in learning his ABC's and numbers. Someone here led me to Leap Frog dvd's. He fell in love with them and by the end of our first semester, he knew them all, solidly! When I showed his K teacher (he went to the public school just for K), she bought the dvd set, too and integrated them for the students that were still struggling.

I did half days, all week long. This left us with the afternoon and evening hours to do what we wanted to do...color, draw, play piano, explore outside, go play with someone else, etc. Only when my kids became older, 3rd grade, did we institute a full day's worth of "schooling." Even then, if something came up like a special field trip with other homeschoolers, then we went on the field trip.

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 Post subject: Re: Newbie- Sticking to Routine
PostPosted: Wed Jul 06, 2016 9:05 pm 
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Joined: Sat Jun 30, 2012 6:58 pm
Posts: 5828
Agreeing 100% with Stacy!


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 Post subject: Re: Newbie- Sticking to Routine
PostPosted: Wed Jul 06, 2016 9:42 pm 
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Joined: Sun Jul 01, 2012 5:16 pm
Posts: 2311
Location: Sunshine State
Welcome! There are a few hs veterans here.

Our first go at homeschooling didn't go that well until I found the original forum hosted by the founder of this website. There is lots of info here. Best tip: you are HOMESCHOOLING so don't try to copy 'school'. We had tried that and it was a disaster. I am a planner, too. I tried lots of different schedules. Ended up doing what worked best for us, year-round schooling keeping record of what we did, documenting the 180 day requirement for our state. We didn't follow a curriculum but used those What Your nth Grader Needs to Know as a guideline. Some books written by an educator for homeschooling parents I recommend, they were very helpful in knowing how to teach:

The Three R's series (Reading, Writing and Arithmetic, 1-3rd tips)
Language and Thinking for Young Children (prek-1st tips)
You Can Successfully Teach Your Child (4-8th tips)

http://www.mottmedia.com/pages/publicat ... b=beechick

I did not hs all my children all the way, oldest just for highschool, middle child from 4th-11th, youngest from the start to halfway through 7th. With her we used a free, online curriculum based on ideas from Charlotte Mason, an early 20th century educator.

http://amblesideonline.org

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"...with men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible." Matthew 19:26


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 Post subject: Re: Newbie- Sticking to Routine
PostPosted: Thu Jul 07, 2016 12:54 am 
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Joined: Sat Jun 30, 2012 3:05 pm
Posts: 3524
Location: Central TX
What you describe resonates with me so strongly, I feel like I could have written it myself. I have been homeschooling for about 5 yrs. I spent over a year planning for it, before we started. I couldn't wait. I had spent countless hours researching curriculum, had tons of notes, websites bookmarked, planners, books, etc. I was so prepared. Then we started homeschooling (My kids were 6 and 3) and everything fell apart. I had dreamed of staying home with my kids, all the fun we would have, how smoothly our days would go, etc. There was nothing I wanted more. So why was I unmotivated, lazy, unorganized, unreliable? It was a disaster and I felt like a failure. My 6 yr old was also struggling with reading and nothing was working. Everything was so different than I had expected.

Unfortunately, this struggle went on for a few years, before I found out that I had ADD. I can't speak for you or anyone else, but this disorder is the explanation for my problems. I had the symptoms as a child, but was never diagnosed, and I struggled with the symptoms through adulthood, but I was in the military all that time, which is very structured. You are told what to do, when to do it, how to do it, etc. So, that structure kept me together. When I separated from the military to homeschool my kids, I unknowingly pulled the rug out from under my feet and took away all accountability for myself. ADD could more accurately be called a self-regulation disorder (Dr. Russell Barkley has some You Tube videos that explain it so well). You have trouble regulating your emotions, your time, your motivation, your impulses, everything. I had no idea of the extent of my disorganization, lack of motivation, etc. until the structure was withdrawn and I was forced to try to create it myself. Anyways, this is my understanding, after having gone through years of struggle, beating myself up, questioning myself, trying and failing, trying and failing some more, etc.

To be brutally honest, I would put my kids back into school in a heartbeat. The struggle is so draining, that I feel like I enjoyed my kids more when I worked full time and only saw them in the evenings. There are only two reasons I'm still homeschooling: 1. About the same time I found out I have ADD, I also found out my kids have it, as well (it's highly heritable). I also found out they have Dyslexia, which most schools are not equipped to deal with. So, I feel like putting them back in school, would fail them, as they would not be getting taught in the way that they need to learn. 2. I hear all the stories of the values that are being taught in school, that I don't want my kids to be taught. Also, I keep hearing from parents, that the schools in our area are awful, and there have been several news reports lately, of inappropriate relationships between the teachers and students. I couldn't put my kids in that environment.

So, in my mind, there's no going back and I make it work because I must. I definitely haven't reached perfection, and I never will. But when I fail, I keep picking myself back up again and take it as a lesson to learn from. I've learned a lot about myself and forced myself to learn some habits, to help create accountability. I wish I could say I've become successful, but I don't know what that even means. I think I'm in a better place than I was years ago, but I still have a ways to go. My kids are intelligent, they're learning, and they also have plenty of free time to use their imaginations and explore their interests.

I now have 4 kids, one of which is a preschooler with a speech delay and behavior problems, and I also have a baby. So, I have been forced to be more wise with my time. There are still days where I am lazy and unprepared. I'm horrible about planning ahead. I often have my kids do their math sheet and then one of them needs help with a math problem and, had I prepared ahead of time, I would know how to handle it. But because I didn't, I have to flip through the teacher's guide and find the lesson, speed read through it until I know what's going on, then help the kid with it. Is that ideal? No. Does it waste time and cause unneeded stress? Yes. But at least it gets done, in the end. Maybe one of these days, I will be able to find a way to plan ahead, that sticks. I am a work in progress. I also have days, like you mentioned, where school just goes out the window. Maybe it's because of a stressful week or being too busy with other things, but because of this, we do school through the summer and I feel like we're never completely caught up. From what I hear form other homeschooling parents, though, this seems to be pretty normal? We just keep trekking on. In the end, they are still going to learn what they need to learn. I just try to prioritize and make sure the basics come first.

Also, getting enough sleep plays a huge roll in how much stress I can handle and how much motivation I can muster. I'm practically useless if I am all foggy headed from lack of sleep. And coffee, lots of coffee. It's a natural stimulant.

Honestly, the most effective thing for me, has been using curriculum that the kids can do on their own. Computer programs that take them through it and grade it themselves. Audiobooks. Videos. Anything that can do the job for you, when you can't do it. There's a free online curriculum called Easy Peasy Homeschool, that the child can go through and do themselves when they are a little older. I am using that curriculum with my preschooler, because it tells you everything to do and you just click through it. Stuff like that. I love to read, so I chose the Sonlight curriculum. It's a great curriculum, but I couldn't deal with the big binder and all the flipping around from section to section, to look at notes here and there and everywhere, then go look at this map, etc. It drove me crazy, so I just ditched the binder and read from the books at my own pace, asked my own questions, etc. It was the only way it was going to get done. I set alarms on my phone for everything. Timers are a really great tool and I'm trying to get into the habit of utilizing those on a regular basis. I've tried to set things up so that we get all the chores and school done in the morning, so it's over with and out of the way. That's been a lot easier said, than done. Having two little ones to take care of, makes that hard. Plus, my two older kids need more direction and guidance than they should at their ages, because of their ADD. I'm still trying to set up an effective system for them to be able to initiate and follow through on more things on their own. It's hard for a mom with self-regulation problems, to teach her kids self-regulation. But with lots of practice, we are getting there.

Hopefully, I haven't scared you away from homeschooling if it's what you really want to do, but it's great that you know your weaknesses beforehand and know that it will be a lot of work. See how it goes, but don't be afraid or ashamed to have to change things to make them work for you and your kids. Again, I would highly recommend curriculum that does the job for you, even if it's just for a couple of the subjects that you struggle with. For example, science is something I can't always find the time to do with the older kids. I just ordered them an online curriculum that they go through and do themselves and it tests and grades them! Starting out, I would have scoffed at a program doing my job for me, but now it's a life saver. Also, curriculum with little to no prep. Just open and go. I know from experience how extremely extremely difficult it is, to overcome that unmotivated hurdle. I haven't found a way around it, other than using these types of programs. There are so many options out there for curriculum, there is something to fit the needs of every family. I had to mourn the way I had originally envisioned our homeschooling journey would look like, and accept the reality. I still feel like my kids will be better off, than if they had stayed in the public school system.

And hey, if you read through this long post, you can probably do anything!

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 Post subject: Re: Newbie- Sticking to Routine
PostPosted: Thu Jul 07, 2016 11:31 am 
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Joined: Wed Jul 06, 2016 5:32 pm
Posts: 6
Location: Texas
Thanks for all the input! The Letter of the Week curriculum only takes 2 hours including books and crafts, so I definitely don't feel it's too much for the older two, especially since they both have interest in formal learning. The littlest likes to be included, so she "sits in" on lessons and does what she can. But don't worry! The 4 year old is the only one I'm pushing to retain information and even then, only numbers and letters and beginning reading skills. She's pretty quick and I want her to be at least a little challenged, since my main beef with public school is that it doesn't customize education to the students style and capabilities.

Lisa, thanks for sharing your story! I honestly never even considered ADD. I'll have to look into it and see if it applies to me or if some of the management techniques would work to help me get past some of my undisciplined nature. It's killing me how badly I want this and how uncooperative I am to help MYSELF with my own goals! It's like I'm standing in my own way.

I'm definitely learning a lot about myself already. For example, the LOTW curriculum I bought was a $15 pdf. I thought I'd save money by printing and laminating myself. (Wasn't that much savings, honestly, when you factor in the cost of paper, ink, and laminating materials...) But in 2 years I still haven't finished the work! So I know that for Kindergarten level, I need something with the bulk of the materials prepped and available already (already decided on MFW), because the prep work is draining to me and I won't do it. It's like I can't see past the "I don't feel like doing this" and into the "this is valuable work for the goals I want to achieve". When I do work, it's slowly and distractedly.

I also learned that if we don't "school" first thing after breakfast, I'm more likely to avoid it altogether and that I HATE bedtime stories. When my first came along, I couldn't wait to sit with her in her little pajamas and read to her before she went to sleep, but when bedtime arrived, I dreaded it every night. How rotten is that?! So I read to my kids during the day and not before bed.
I'm most energized in the morning If I start my day right, but it's almost impossible to get me out of bed. Thing is, I feel AWESOME when I do the things I'm supposed to do (even things like household chores, getting errands done etc), but I can hardly get myself to do them. It's maddening.

I think maybe if I just try to meet myself somewhere in the middle, between doing nothing but what I feel like doing and aiming for super mom, I could be satisfied? Unfortunately, I'm a perfectionist through and through. (And THAT was diagnosed by my counselor) So I have a hard time letting things go and letting them be messy. That's my main problem with the stopping and restarting and delaying because I want to have the perfect plan and the perfect time line and the perfect attitude etc. Thankfully, as I said before, my kids are still young, so I've got time to get it together. A lot of this early homeschool stuff is mostly for MY benefit, to practice and learn and figure it out.

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Wife to 1 and mother of 3 beautiful DDs Munchkin (4), Pumpkin (2) Sweet Pea (1)


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 Post subject: Re: Newbie- Sticking to Routine
PostPosted: Thu Jul 07, 2016 1:11 pm 
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Joined: Sat Jun 30, 2012 5:22 pm
Posts: 8837
What great info you've already gotten from these ladies! :) Yes, i am very much like you and always tho't "if i could do it over again" but i HAVE had the opportunity to do it over again with pretty much the same results! LOL

Knowing your strengths and weakness going in will be SUCH a help!

What Lisa said - "Honestly, the most effective thing for me, has been using curriculum that the kids can do on their own. Computer programs that take them through it and grade it themselves. Audiobooks. Videos. Anything that can do the job for you, when you can't do it" - would be my advice also. Especially as they get older. Having one working independently gives you a chance to work one on one with another one. Some things, like social studies, can be done all together. Unit studies where they're all learning the same thing but doing work at different levels can be easier on you, as well.

You may surprised how each kid will respond differently to the same materials. While making it fun, or at least not dreadful, will be great, remember there are times we must do things we don't want to do. Teach them the reward for sticking to an unpleasant task and how smart it is to do the unpleasant first. ;)


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 Post subject: Re: Newbie- Sticking to Routine
PostPosted: Thu Jul 07, 2016 5:32 pm 
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Joined: Sat Jun 30, 2012 6:58 pm
Posts: 5828
Two pieces of advice that I got years ago helped me: You can't home school and hide it. Meaning some things around the house will be messy and you have to do what you can and not expect to do it all.... the house won't be spotless, give yourself some grace in this area.
And: You have many years to teach them what they need to know. Don't try to teach them everything in the first few years, and don't expect them to learn it all. The things missed will be caught up in time.


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 Post subject: Re: Newbie- Sticking to Routine
PostPosted: Thu Jul 07, 2016 5:39 pm 
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Joined: Wed Jul 06, 2016 5:32 pm
Posts: 6
Location: Texas
Thanks, Sis! It's that last bit I really need to work on. I'm so stubborn! Need to channel that for good instead of evil. Haha Independent work will be easier when they know how to do some stuff. Right now, of course, it's difficult to even get them to play independently for more than a few minutes. But as I've said, this is really practice for ME more than trying to get them to be super students right now. I feel like I need a nanny (for me, not the kids lol) Just until I start doing it on my own. :P but since i can't afford a nanny, I'm thinking simplification will be the next best thing, based on what I'm hearing from you guys.

Tory, that's great advice! I'm fortunate to live in an area where home schooling is fairly popular and I've heard that advice from a lot of homeschool veterans at my church already. It's always good to be reminded that we've got 24hr a day for 18 years to teach and equip our children. Reels us back from "teacher land" where the curriculum is abundant and the ideas are limitless and returns us to parent land where we want to have a life with our children! Haha So many great ideas; it's hard not to try and do them all sometimes! But especially for people like me, that's a recipe for burn out. Thanks for the reminder!

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Wife to 1 and mother of 3 beautiful DDs Munchkin (4), Pumpkin (2) Sweet Pea (1)


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 Post subject: Re: Newbie- Sticking to Routine
PostPosted: Thu Jul 07, 2016 5:49 pm 
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Joined: Sat Jun 30, 2012 6:58 pm
Posts: 5828
I had way more fun planning to home school than I did actual home schooling lol! All the books and curriculum to explore and the expos! Ahh I miss those years. All 3 of mine are now grown so I envy you! These really are the best years.


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