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 Post subject: Need advice (long)
PostPosted: Wed May 11, 2016 12:35 pm 
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Posts: 3
I will try and not make this so long. I have two kids I have homeschooled all their school lives. Child #1 is now a freshman in HS and going to a private school and thriving.

Child #2 has learning disabilities. She was a nightmare to homeschool and as time went on, I just couldn't teach her what she needed to know. She just has a problem with me as a teacher. She has gone for therapy and also speech/language therapy. Frankly, I am not equipped to give her what she needs as far as school. While she was homeschooled, I had her enrolled in many activities that she loves to do. She also was working with a tutor 6 hours a week, but still that just wasn't enough.

She asked if she could go to school and a local charter school had an open seat in her grade, so we have been trying it this year: she started in November.

It has been less than ideal, although she has thrived in several areas as well. It is still a big struggle helping her with homework and now there is NO time for tutors.

In my area, there just isn't a lot of support even though I have had her enrolled in different activities. She had trouble making friends because she just wasn't seeing the same kids consistently enough to maintain relationships.

We have a local Classical Conversations in our area, but she just cannot do the work (Child #1 did very well in the Challenge program before going to private school).

I just don't know what to do. There are a lot of negative situations at her school. Yet, she has consistency and has met the challenge of this chaotic atmosphere. She has friends and gets to be involved in dances and other activities. Again, these things are really not available in our area. I have looked and looked.

Does anyone have any suggestions or advice?


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 Post subject: Re: Need advice (long)
PostPosted: Wed May 11, 2016 8:08 pm 
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Joined: Sat Jun 30, 2012 11:01 pm
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Tami7878 wrote:
I will try and not make this so long. I have two kids I have homeschooled all their school lives. Child #1 is now a freshman in HS and going to a private school and thriving.

Child #2 has learning disabilities. She was a nightmare to homeschool and as time went on, I just couldn't teach her what she needed to know. She just has a problem with me as a teacher. She has gone for therapy and also speech/language therapy. Frankly, I am not equipped to give her what she needs as far as school. While she was homeschooled, I had her enrolled in many activities that she loves to do. She also was working with a tutor 6 hours a week, but still that just wasn't enough.

She asked if she could go to school and a local charter school had an open seat in her grade, so we have been trying it this year: she started in November.

It has been less than ideal, although she has thrived in several areas as well. It is still a big struggle helping her with homework and now there is NO time for tutors.

In my area, there just isn't a lot of support even though I have had her enrolled in different activities. She had trouble making friends because she just wasn't seeing the same kids consistently enough to maintain relationships.

We have a local Classical Conversations in our area, but she just cannot do the work (Child #1 did very well in the Challenge program before going to private school).

I just don't know what to do. There are a lot of negative situations at her school. Yet, she has consistency and has met the challenge of this chaotic atmosphere. She has friends and gets to be involved in dances and other activities. Again, these things are really not available in our area. I have looked and looked.

Does anyone have any suggestions or advice?



Hi Tami, have you had your child officially evaluated by a psychologist? I used to work for an "educational psychologist." Once she conducted several tests, she was able to pinpoint their educational weaknesses and had great resources and advice as to where to go from that point forward. I would stay with the school as long as the situation does not turn too negative. No place outside your home is going to be perfect, but at least, like you mentioned, is meeting the challenges.

_________________
Prayer should be your first response.
Not your last resort.


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 Post subject: Re: Need advice (long)
PostPosted: Thu May 12, 2016 9:09 am 
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Hi, thanks for your reply. Yes, she has been evaluated. We know exactly what her issues are.

She needs Speech Language Therapy which we had a lot of time for when she was homeschooled. Now we don't have any time for it. She does have a 504 plan at school, but still, it has been a challenge. The teachers can only do so much.

I am sticking with school for now, but I just don't know. She has developed even more anxiety since attending.


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 Post subject: Re: Need advice (long)
PostPosted: Thu May 12, 2016 11:38 am 
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Hi Tami. I may be the least qualified person here to chime in on this discussion but I won't let that get in my way. ;) How old is she? If she is jr hi age I think it may be difficult for awhile. (Hormones and all that make life kinda crazy.)

I'm a little confused about activities vs support? What kind of support is lacking? And you said she's involved in activities but "these things are really not available" in your area. ??

The fact that she has "met the challenge" speaks volumes! Can she do the speech therapy for the summer? However, "no time for tutors", if they are in fact needed, means less time for activities. It's just a fact of life. Work before play, ya know.

I think it boils down to the goals for her. Is it to keep busy with activities and involved with friends? Is it academics - perhaps college bound? Is it to be self-sufficient? Is it to learn a trade, get a job? Are these her goals for herself or your goals for her?

Perhaps assessing the goals and setting down the steps needed to get there would be helpful.


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 Post subject: Re: Need advice (long)
PostPosted: Thu May 12, 2016 7:33 pm 
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Sis wrote:
Hi Tami. I may be the least qualified person here to chime in on this discussion but I won't let that get in my way. ;) How old is she? If she is jr hi age I think it may be difficult for awhile. (Hormones and all that make life kinda crazy.)

I'm a little confused about activities vs support? What kind of support is lacking? And you said she's involved in activities but "these things are really not available" in your area. ??

The fact that she has "met the challenge" speaks volumes! Can she do the speech therapy for the summer? However, "no time for tutors", if they are in fact needed, means less time for activities. It's just a fact of life. Work before play, ya know.

I think it boils down to the goals for her. Is it to keep busy with activities and involved with friends? Is it academics - perhaps college bound? Is it to be self-sufficient? Is it to learn a trade, get a job? Are these her goals for herself or your goals for her?

Perhaps assessing the goals and setting down the steps needed to get there would be helpful.



Great post.

_________________
Prayer should be your first response.
Not your last resort.


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 Post subject: Re: Need advice (long)
PostPosted: Fri May 13, 2016 9:35 am 
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Joined: Wed May 11, 2016 12:26 pm
Posts: 3
StacyinTN wrote:
Sis wrote:
Hi Tami. I may be the least qualified person here to chime in on this discussion but I won't let that get in my way. ;) How old is she? If she is jr hi age I think it may be difficult for awhile. (Hormones and all that make life kinda crazy.)

I'm a little confused about activities vs support? What kind of support is lacking? And you said she's involved in activities but "these things are really not available" in your area. ??

The fact that she has "met the challenge" speaks volumes! Can she do the speech therapy for the summer? However, "no time for tutors", if they are in fact needed, means less time for activities. It's just a fact of life. Work before play, ya know.

I think it boils down to the goals for her. Is it to keep busy with activities and involved with friends? Is it academics - perhaps college bound? Is it to be self-sufficient? Is it to learn a trade, get a job? Are these her goals for herself or your goals for her?

Perhaps assessing the goals and setting down the steps needed to get there would be helpful.



Great post.


You raise some valid points, thank you! She is 12.

She will be doing speech therapy in the summer for sure.

We do not get off the carpool line until after 4:00. It's a nightmare, so there isn't much time for other things. As far as activities, she NEEDS to be physically active so cutting out things like gymnastics, dance and horse riding lessons are not an option. So I would say that is a goal we both feel that needs to be maintained.

She has also started equine therapy which I am hoping will help with her anxiety.

When I talked about lack of support, I meant within the homschooling community in my area. For example, when we moved here, we met a very nice family with one girl and two boys. My daughter hit it off with the girl and they became great friends. The issue is we never really got to see them often because we were going in different directions all the time. They live about 30 minutes away and they were off doing things the boys needed to do as well. So although my daughter was friends with the girl, there wasn't enough opportunity to spend together. Since my son went to school, I had more time to devote to taking my daughter places, but that only worked when there were places to take her.

I was also referring to the activities she gets to do in school (dances, etc.) that she didn't get to do while being homeschooled. Those aren't available in our area....or I should say there are some, but she would have to go alone because she wasn't making friends to go with.

There are some co-ops in the area, but again, my daughter would struggle to keep up with the work and that leads back to our original problem with me teaching her.

As far as goals, my goals are for her to be self-sufficient and have the option to go to college, if she wants. She was not getting what she needed at home as far as academics, and sometimes I thought that was OK.

As far as goals for herself, she has only expressed interest in doing one thing and that would require a college degree. I am hoping that has she gets older and matures, she will learn how to compensate for her struggles if this is truly something she wants to do.

You are right, the fact that she has met the school challenge does speak volumes. She never went to school full-time and now she is changing classes and doing everything she is supposed to be doing. She is very well-behaved in school. She does want to do well and does the best she can. Still, she is failing tests and the school has a lot of kids. The teachers cannot afford to give her individual support all the time. She gets math tutoring at the school once a week which has helped.

She is not aggressive so there have been times when there were not enough textbooks in class (the other kids took them first) and she couldn't do her work. Sometimes the computers freeze or there aren't enough. Or some kid is using the computer to put in names of other students to "find their perfect match." It's things like this that make me feel negatively towards the school environment.

I just have a nagging feeling that won't go away that there has to be a better option.


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