How many days a week

LisaTX · **Posted:** Mon Aug 13, 2012 10:22 am

Do you think kids should socialize with other kids?

CindyLouWho · **Joined:** Wed Jul 04, 2012 5:54 pm **Posts:** 664

That's a personal choice. 8 P

For us, our son attends church and has friends there from our homeschool group, he does scouts one night a week, jujitsu another and plays 1-2x per week with friends outside. No shortage of socialization opportunities. We just try to make sure they are healthy opportunities. Some weeks he doesn't get to play with his friends because they are too busy and so are we.

Pam in Colorado · **Joined:** Sat Jun 30, 2012 2:58 pm **Posts:** 1095

A lot depends on the child. If you have an introvert, 1x a week might be too much. If you have an extrovert, 1x a week might not be enough. Trying to force any child to be different than what they are for their "benefit" is not respecting who they are as an individual and could cause all kinds of unneeded stress into their lives, just like thinking an extrovert "will be just fine" if they do not get the social contact they may so desire won't hur them. It could.

Soooo.... how much one needs/should have is very different for each child. If you have a mix of personalities, if you do go out a lot for your extrovert for example, be sure to bring along things for your introvert to do by themselves so they can retreat if things get to be too much for them. They will greatly appreciate and trust you more for it.

Your kids will let you know through their words, actions, and behaviors so let them be your guide.

Kysa · **Posted:** Mon Aug 13, 2012 12:20 pm

Ditto to Pam. REALLY depends on the kid. 1 x a week would be fine for me, extreme introvert. But my chatty little granddaughter would like more than that. My daughter-in-law really has to balance things as she has one extreme introvert, one introvert, and two chatty little extroverts. The introverts are easily overwhelmed by too many people.

LisaTX · **Posted:** Mon Aug 13, 2012 12:43 pm

My ds is more extrovert and dd is more introvert. I am just trying to figure out activities for them for this school year. Right now, they go to Sunday school and usually a homeschool park day on Wednesdays and that's pretty much it. Well, we've been going to the pool, but that closes in two weeks when kids head back to school.

I was going to do the co-op and Cub Scouts for ds. Was thinking about American Heritage Girls for dd, but I think I will wait for her since she doesn't need a lot of interaction with others. The co-op is on Wed morning before park day. I think I am going to skip the co-op this year. It's $150 a semester, it's a littler cheaper if I teach, but I wouldn't be teaching yet anyways, just assisting and it's still a little expensive even with the discount. They will still be getting interaction with the kids at the park, anyways, so I think I will skip that for now. I did send a message to the local Cub Scout group a while back and didn't get a reply. I just sent them another one. I thought about not even doing Cub Scouts and just having him do Boy Scouts instead because I'm not sure I will be able to be as involved as I want to be, but I have decided to do it. He really wants to do scouting. I don't know how much all of the activities will cost, but I think it will be ok if it's spread throughout the year. So, I think with church on Sunday, park on Wed and scouts, hopefully that will be good.

I've just been going back and forth on all this, lol. I am so indecisive!

LisaTX · **Posted:** Mon Aug 13, 2012 1:11 pm

I am also trying to take into account socialization with others of different ages and community service. Our church operates the food pantry on Wed nights and they've already said they would love to put my kids to work and there's something for every age to do. Also, I would like to start visiting one of the nursing homes, which we STILL haven't done. Do you think they might enjoy seeing a baby? Our church choir sings for them on Sunday mornings and they invite everyone else to go, so maybe we will go one of these days. I think it would be good for my kids and the people there.

Pam in Colorado · **Joined:** Sat Jun 30, 2012 2:58 pm **Posts:** 1095

It will soon be evident if it is not good for any/all of your kids, so if you do decide to try any of the things you are considering just be open to modifying your plan either for your dd - who may get overwhelmed (probably especially at the nursing home) or for yourself with your sweet babe.

Anna1111 · **Joined:** Sat Jun 30, 2012 7:14 pm **Posts:** 8115

With a new baby on the way - consider YOUR needs and the baby's needs, too. It may be that several activitie$ per week will just be too much for a household with a new baby, even if they'd be fine otherwise (our tradition is 40 days of seclusion when a baby arrives - which was *great* for us!)

And, just my take on it, what a person craves is not always what they need. We tend to want to give an extrovert more interaction and an introvert less because the *want* it, but we have to also consider if that is what is best for their development. That might or might not be what they want to have. (Personally, I *want* to eat too much - doesn't mean that's what I *need*)

I was skimming an old Charlotte Mason book and she thought that too much interaction between kids was harmful to their development - shows how culture & times change our attitudes.

CindyLouWho · **Joined:** Wed Jul 04, 2012 5:54 pm **Posts:** 664

Good points, Pam and Kysa. My son is VERY much an extrovert and leader-type personality everywhere we go, so he thinks he never has enough activities going on. ; )

I'm middle of the road. Can swing either way...
When he was a baby, I didn't do anything for a very long time. Nearly 2 years passed before I began getting really active with things. It was just too hard for me and our homeschool group had field trips for older children, but the toddlers weren't included, so that made it hard.

Also, Anna made a good point about how life will change once your baby boy arrives! Xavier may change your lives and you may just want to cocoon for a little while before venturing out. " )

As I said earlier, socialization for each family and family member is a personal choice, and to add to that, should be determined by the needs of the individual family.

Tory · **Joined:** Sat Jun 30, 2012 6:58 pm **Posts:** 5828

Your dc are still young enough that they don't need to be out doing something more than once a week. If you put them into too many things, you'll never be at home and you'll get burned out.
My dc had ONE activitiy a week. It came around way too soon sometimes! Between grocery shopping, library visits, their one activity, (for dd it was horsebacking riding, ds's it was TKD)...
I felt we were always in the car.
If you can find something that they both enjoy, do that. OR... shocker.. do nothing other than your normal church and school activities - field trips. They'll be fine! Honest!
Your ds can play with the neighbor kids in the afternoons (if you allow that.. we never had that option...)

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