Ok, I know my last post about Christian's reading sounded positive, but unfortunately I think it was a false positive. He seems to make progress, but things just don't stick and remain consistent so that we can move forward, then it regresses. I have been ignoring my gut instincts for a couple years on this. I have been ignoring the red flags and warning signs and just hoping it would get better. But I just know this year is going to end like every other year, with us not really any further along than at the beginning of the year. Something is not right. I don't think I told you guys about the other problems he's having. One really big thing is reversing his b's and d's. Really bad. I know people say this can be normal even at his age still, but it's not just an occasional thing, it's constant. Another thing I've noticed is that he knows the phonogram sounds and rules, but doesn't apply them when he reads the words. If he messes up a word, I can ask what sound "ai" makes and he can tell me, but then he seems to forget when he reads it in a word. Things just don't stick. He also has what I recently found out is called Dysgraphia. He can write rather neatly and legibly if he's forced to, but it takes so much effort that writing three sentences leaves him exhausted, he doesn't space out his words, his spelling is still horrible. He knows "k and not c, with an i or an e", but he forgets when he's writing the words. Yesterday he spelt "notch" like "noch" and his second grade sister walked up, sighed and said "You have to have a consonant before the "ch", put a t". I know every kid is different, but there reaches a point where "different" is a problem and we have reached that point. This is stressing him out so much that he asks me every day if he has to do writing and the thought of having to do writing is excruciating for him. He even started having episodes of wetting the bed recently, something we have NEVER had a problem with. I think it is related to the stress that this puts on him.
SO, this all started when I suspected he might have ADD. I believe I have ADD that was undetected in school because I was not disruptive and I still did well because I could read, write, and take tests well. But I don't have a clue what any of the teachers ever said because I was always daydreaming. As an adult, I have the symptoms of adult ADD. So I am able to see these same things in him that I had when I was in school. I will read from a history book and he is in lala land. I will ask a question and he looks at me like a deer caught in the headlights. Even after repeating the material several times, he has a hard time giving me a real answer and his sister will shake her head and answer me. I do try to keep her occupied so that she's out of the room while I spend one-on-one time with him, but it takes so much time because of these things, that she finishes all her work and wanders into the room with us. Anyways, there are other things, such as impulsiveness and difficulty expressing himself and following directions, that I always just brushed aside as being a "quirk", but now I find out they are symptoms of ADD. I looked up natural ways to manage ADD and the #1 thing I found is to give a supplement of Omega 3 oil each day and many people notice an improvement in symptoms. Interestingly, a shortage of this fat is linked to other conditions, such as eczema (which he has) and allergies (which I have). So, I am going to try this and see if there is a difference. I am not at all interested in medicaiton, as I hear there can be bad side effects like stunted growth, depression, etc.
I also became aware of the connection between ADD/ADHD and Dyslexia, about 40% of people have both. I had never heard much about Dyslexia or looked into it. I either never looked up the symptoms or had blinders on, because I started researching Dyslexia and found that the symptoms describe him to a T. The poor reading, poor writing/spelling, reversals, skipping words, trouble finding words to express himself, etc. Every single website I check (and I've checked a lot), it's like someone wrote it about Christian. I read the story of a homeschooling mom that was strikingly similar to mine. She missed the warning signs for years until her son was in 4th grade, she had him tested and he was dyslexic. She realized he could not learn with traditional methods and switched to a homeschool program specifically for dyslexics. At 16, her son was reading novels like he had never had a problem. I was up literally all night last night (ok, I slept 2 hrs) researching and wrestling with this, before I finally came to terms with the fact that my son has ADD and Dyslexia, two labels I never thought in a million years that I would apply to him. But then it all just clicked and everything is explained now. I talked about it with my husband and I was afraid he would want to get him tested and do all these interventions and things we probably would never be able to afford anyways. I told him we have two choices, we can pay ridiculous money for testing that I already know the outcome of, or we can start right away with a curriculum for Dyslexia. I was also afraid he would think I had failed our son. But he was really supportive and he agreed with me that he didn't want him put on medications or anything and we are on the same page as far as the curriculum. It has good reviews and it does not teach site words or just memorizing/guessing. It gives mneumonics and pictures and takes a multisensory approach to help the phonograms stick in his mind and help him to be able to decode words. Dyslexic kids are very visual and I've noticed that Christian is VERY visual. This curriculum is inexpensive, too. You can't imagine the weight lifted off of my shoulders, to finally go with my gut and stop resisting something that will help him in the long run. There is also a writing program I am going to use to try to make writing a better experience for him, but the #1 best thing for kids with Dysgraphia is keyboarding, so I am about to have him start learning to type, which he is excited about and I think will be something fun for him.
Well, sorry this was so long. I am just ready to get this started right away, so things can start improving. I thought I would share all this for anyone else out there who is struggling and has kids with these "glitches" or thinks their kids may have these things. If anyone has more information on or experience with these things, please feel free to share. Also, if anyone thinks there is some real value in getting him tested and an official diagnosis. I just keep hearing that no real help is offered once you have an official diagnosis anyways, so I don't see the point. I hear they just give you a list of expensive places you can take them to, so I would rather do this myself at home since that's what homeschooling is all about. I realize this will not be an easy road and there is not a miracle cure that will make all things better, but I am encouraged by the many stories of dyslexic kids who learn to read and write and go on to college and a successful career. That is what I want for Christian. I honestly wonder all the time what type of future lies ahead of him, but now I feel hopeful. He's very smart, he just learns a completely different way than I've been teaching. I wish I had caught it earlier, but all I can do is move forward now and not dwell on the past.
_________________ Mom to Christian (13), Saphira (10), Xavier (5), and Adrian (2).
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