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 Post subject: Mid-year transition help
PostPosted: Sat Feb 04, 2017 2:05 am 
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Joined: Thu Jan 26, 2017 2:22 pm
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Hi again,

I received so much great feedback on my math question I thought I'd come back here with mid-year transition questions.

We are pulling our 7 year old from private school in another week or two. First, I'm not sure when I should notify his teacher and the school. I'd like to leave on good terms but don't want him questioned or harassed at school. Any advice?

Second, we've talked to him a little about homeschool in general but he has expressed concerns about missing his friends and missing out on any "cool stuff" that happens, which I kind of expected really. I am planning on letting him de-stress a little and not rush right into a heavy curriculum. I've also set up several activities for him - homeschool field trip / fun day, YMCA rock climbing and swimming, etc.- to help him burn off energy and of course meet new kids to (hopefully) help make it a little easier for him. Any advice on how / when to tell him we have decided to homeschool? I don't even know, I think every kid probably needs to hear it in their own way. Any advice on a smoother mid-year transition? I'm probably stressing too much but I just want to do whatever I can to get started on the right foot.

Thanks so much!


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 Post subject: Re: Mid-year transition help
PostPosted: Sat Feb 04, 2017 11:07 am 
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I've always homeschooled DD, so we never had a midyear transition. But my gut on the school leaving thing is to go in and have an official conference *without your son there*. Reassure all the professionals that they're wonderful and it's not about them (assuming of course, that it's true). From what you said before, I'm guessing that you feel your son would benefit from 1) more one on one attention and 2) a different curriculum choice - especially in Math. So, let them know that.

I think teaching professionals can get their feelings hurt by a choice to leave - assuming that you took a dislike to them, or thought they did a poor job. You want to avoid that if you can.

I remember a couple of past moves to different schools in our family. When I was a kid, Mom took me in when she talked to the Principal about our changing to a different school with a different type of curriculum. (They already had a rocky relationship - because that school DID have some problems!) The principal turned to me and said, "You'll be back here in a month!" It just made me more determined to prove him wrong (tho I recognized the inappropriateness of it) and my academic performance (as well as my social life, etc) were MUCH, MUCH better at the next school : )

Then, when some kids with academic difficulties in our family transferred public schools, the principal of the first one felt like he had been blindsided, he told them "Go over there and ruin their test scores!"

In BOTH cases, it would have been better if the adults had had a "smoothing of the waters" sort of meeting without the kids present before the transfer happened.

Then, when your son's last day of "far away school" (as we like to call it) comes, take cupcakes into the school (again, pre-arranged) and have a "Going away party" for him so he can have proper closure and say goodbye to all his friends. There might be some tears, but proper closure is so much better for kids than the alternative.

Also, contact the parents of two or three of his closest school friends and arrange play dates and outings with them.

If there is a homeschool group or co-op for you to join in your area (preferably a non-academic free one, like mine : ) joining that so he can meet other homeschooled friends might help.

And, books with homeschooled main characters are good, too : )

Keep in touch - and let us know how things are going.

And come here just to chat with us! We LOVE new chatting friends : )

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 Post subject: Re: Mid-year transition help
PostPosted: Sat Feb 04, 2017 5:39 pm 
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Posts: 11
Thanks for your response!

I can see how the pros could be offended. Their way is probably fine for most of the class, it just isn't working for my Panda. He definitely needs a new curriculum and well, yeah, one on one attention. He needs to have some of his (on topic) questions answered - (he is very curious, which, honestly I kind of thought most kids were but I'm not an expert...), to be heard when he speaks, to be helped when he says he doesn't understand something. Your way of saying that sounds much more polite though, thank you! Wowza! It sounds like you were privy to some very interesting grown-up conversations as a kid! Thank goodness you were removed from that environment!

Cupcakes! When are cupcakes NOT a good idea? Lol! Yes!

We don't really have a lot of groups or co-ops right here... at least not ones that can be found online anyway! It seems there are a couple loosely organized groups that get together every so often for a field trip or fun day. I've signed up for that. I've signed him up for swimming, rock climbing and Tae kwon do at the Y. The classes are for 6-12 year olds. I've signed him up for a three-session nature center thing that's offered in the middle of the day for homeschoolers. I half feel like I'm stalking HS groups online, trying to make sure we end up in the same location when they come out of hiding! I'm joking of course but I did think it would be easier to find HS groups and events. My hope now, though it may be a bit naive, is that we can start meeting people who can introduce us to people? Like networking for sales leads but looking for HS group leads. What is a "non-academic free one"?

I REALLY REALLY appreciate the support and advice! It's a little goofy but I kind of feel like I can't let any here (physically here) see me sweat. I need hubby, Panda, school, school moms, family to only see the calm, confident, collected side of me right now... not the stressed out Momma worrying about ruining her kid's life, not knowing that a koala is not a bear (what??) or what the present participle is (apparently a word ending in -ing and seriously, did I go to 2nd grade? None of this sounds familiar) and not remembering Calculus... yeah, I know, he's 7, we are still in the earliest stages of multiplication. I need to relax... & be happy I get the opportunity to learn 2nd grade material again (ha ha) & stop rambling. Seriously, thanks though!


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 Post subject: Re: Mid-year transition help
PostPosted: Sat Feb 04, 2017 6:08 pm 
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I think closure for him is a good idea. I was yanked from school to school and rarely got to say goodbye to friends. It helps that you aren't moving so you can stay in touch with special friends he has now.

As for finding groups... I have to laugh at the stalking comment because that's what I did! I would see mom's and school aged kids at the park or library... And began watching to see if they "looked" like home schoolers!! Haha! Finally I got it the nerve to just ask!! (imagine that!) ;)

Oh.. Speaking of library.. The librarians are the ones to ask about home school groups. Ours are VERY familiar with them because of the nature of the job.


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 Post subject: Re: Mid-year transition help
PostPosted: Sat Feb 04, 2017 6:27 pm 
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You'll do great! No need to panic : )

By "Non Academic, Free" co-ops I meant exactly what you describe. A group that gets together every couple or few weeks for a relaxing field trip, rather than something where you pay to get together and have your kid study in a group.

Personally, I find that our schedule is VERY full with 1 lesson/activity, 1 (monthly) co op and Church activities. I've watched other HS Moms sign up for multiple sports & clubs and burn out. I'd encourage you to add one at a time, until you find you're doing enuf, rather than risking overbooking at the start.

Don't worry about ANYTHING you don't know! We all learn every day! As a homeschool joke goes "Two educations for the price of one!" My DD knows way more than I on many subjects - stuff that she learned with me sitting beside her, but she learned better than I did. It is pretty common now for an adult to ask me something, and have me turn to DD and say, 'Hey, do you know what _____ is? Mr. Smith was wondering." and she'll tell him when I couldn't : )

You'll do great! No need to let anyone see you sweat - cause there's no need to sweat ; )
You'll do great!

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 Post subject: Re: Mid-year transition help
PostPosted: Sat Feb 04, 2017 8:24 pm 
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Joined: Thu Jan 26, 2017 2:22 pm
Posts: 11
Ha! I've been on here for weeks and just realized that everyone's names are off the screen if my phone! I'll get it guys, I will. Otherwise I guess Panda can explain it to me. Ha ha.

Anna1111, I really appreciate your advice regarding sports and burning out but we aren't really adding any new nights to our sports schedule. He is a healthy, active 7 year old that NEEDS winter activities and sports. Okay, so maybe I need him to have them, lol. I just went elsewhere for the activities and took the leap of putting him in with a larger age range of kids (6-12 instead of 7-9)... hopefully he learns things like responsibility and not bad words... although I probably need to anticipate a little of both, right? : )

Non-academic, free-awesome, didn't know I could check that box, ha! Seriously though, he's coming out of Catholic school, uniforms, long days, structure, sit still, be quiet, not now, wait in line, no flexibility environment (which definitely has a lot of really great qualities for a lot of kids) to a well, I'm kind of the opposite of that. I think he needs to have some fun, go bowling, bouncing, do it now, dig for bugs (not my favorite but...) & ask all 42 of his questions about how a clock works. Right? Granted I apparently cut class for 2nd grade, lol, but when did it become so stressful? And not fun? Sorry, totally off my point. That's good advice though. I'll have to be careful that I not get too exuberant... & staying focused! :)

I'm pretty excited about all the education I'll get too! About how old is your little one?

No sweat! I've got this... & we'll figure out the rest! :D


Last edited by PerfectlySquarePegs on Sat Feb 04, 2017 8:41 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject: Re: Mid-year transition help
PostPosted: Sat Feb 04, 2017 8:40 pm 
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Joined: Thu Jan 26, 2017 2:22 pm
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Tory,

Thank you for your response!

I do hope that he will be able to maintain the friendships he has now. We are in a pretty small school in a pretty small community. It would be a shame to not continue playing with friends that literally live 5 miles away.

So, I'm curious - do home schoolers look like? I've been casually watching (not like creepy), more like noticing people out during the day with school age kids that don't appear to be out of school for a doctor appointment. I haven't talked to anyone though, instead I've come up with like 30 reasons why 8 & 10 year olds might be at the market on a Wednesday morning. Parks & libraries though, that would be a bit different. :) Talking to the librarians is a great idea!

Thanks!


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 Post subject: Re: Mid-year transition help
PostPosted: Sun Feb 05, 2017 9:54 am 
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It's normal to stress about this. You are stepping out of the norm and into a new area!

Kids (and adults) are comfortable with what they know already. In classroom school, kids are used to being together with other kids all day long. It will take some time for him to adjust. However, at some point he'll notice that he doesn't have the drama of the group -- a good thing!

Have you found a local homeschooling group? Hunt around the internet for one so that you can attend play groups and field trips with it. Then your son won't miss school at all!

I would give no more than a few days' notice. I don't think the school will try to talk you into staying, but you never know... You don't want the kids to have time to start giving him a hard way to go. The majority of them will probably say, "You are SO lucky not to have to be here!"

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 Post subject: Re: Mid-year transition help
PostPosted: Thu Feb 09, 2017 9:56 pm 
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Joined: Sat Jun 30, 2012 7:14 pm
Posts: 6553
PerfectlySquarePegs wrote:
Ha! I've been on here for weeks and just realized that everyone's names are off the screen if my phone! I'll get it guys, I will. Otherwise I guess Panda can explain it to me. Ha ha.

Anna1111, I really appreciate your advice regarding sports and burning out but we aren't really adding any new nights to our sports schedule. He is a healthy, active 7 year old that NEEDS winter activities and sports. Okay, so maybe I need him to have them, lol. I just went elsewhere for the activities and took the leap of putting him in with a larger age range of kids (6-12 instead of 7-9)... hopefully he learns things like responsibility and not bad words... although I probably need to anticipate a little of both, right? : )

Non-academic, free-awesome, didn't know I could check that box, ha! Seriously though, he's coming out of Catholic school, uniforms, long days, structure, sit still, be quiet, not now, wait in line, no flexibility environment (which definitely has a lot of really great qualities for a lot of kids) to a well, I'm kind of the opposite of that. I think he needs to have some fun, go bowling, bouncing, do it now, dig for bugs (not my favorite but...) & ask all 42 of his questions about how a clock works. Right? Granted I apparently cut class for 2nd grade, lol, but when did it become so stressful? And not fun? Sorry, totally off my point. That's good advice though. I'll have to be careful that I not get too exuberant... & staying focused! :)

I'm pretty excited about all the education I'll get too! About how old is your little one?

No sweat! I've got this... & we'll figure out the rest! :D



Perhaps this would be a good time to mention that our (amazing, totally rockin') co-op has NO internet presence - at all. Unless you count us emailing each other
;)

It was started by a friend of mine who wanted a group for her kids, and simply emailed all the clergy of our denomination in town (I think that was like, 4 or 5 emails) and asked them to pass the word on to any parishioners they knew who homeschooled. It worked great, and its a very friendly, informal group. We had a lovely event today. The kids all know & love each other (and sometimes they fight - just like sibilings ;) ) We just meet once a month and do something fun together. It used to be every week - but that was too much for our tastes.

If you don't FIND a group you like - start one! :D

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 Post subject: Re: Mid-year transition help
PostPosted: Mon Feb 20, 2017 12:16 am 
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More good advice, thanks! :D


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