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 Post subject: Having "the talk" about dying.
PostPosted: Wed Jan 27, 2016 12:17 pm 
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http://www.npr.org/sections/health-shot ... iscussions

It seemed appropriate to put this hear in "frugal" and "prepared living". :D How can we consider ourselves to be enlightened, or even civilized, if we're not having these conversations?


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 Post subject: Re: Having "the talk" about dying.
PostPosted: Wed Jan 27, 2016 12:19 pm 
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http://exopermaculture.com/2016/01/19/h ... e-die-now/


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 Post subject: Re: Having "the talk" about dying.
PostPosted: Wed Jan 27, 2016 12:43 pm 
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Well, we DO have these conversations in my family : )

I find a couple of false premises in the articles. The one about "How we used to die" seems to have been written by someone who based his opinions on novels rather than experience. We really do glamorize the past in our minds. In REAL life, quite frequently the beloved older person's family could not prevent bed sores, nor could they keep linens clean for an incontinent relative - frequently the room smelled quite bad, and the elderly person got life threatening infections from bedsores. They might have been incoherent, wandered off into a nearby pond, etc. They might also have been violent due to dementia. They might have been screaming in severe pain, as was the case with one distant relative of mine. I've known a few older couples that did things the traditional way - and the care was NOT poetic. When family have to work in the fields all day, or support the family in any traditional way well, the idea of flowers by the bed and tidy linens and no pain aren't reality. It is true that SOME people in history died peacefully at home, with picture perfect care, but that wasn't the only way things happened, and I really think it was probably rather rare, given the real-life glimpses I've had.

The one about how doctors die assumes that doctors make the most Godly choices of any group of people. While I have great admiration for SOME doctors, I'd rather hear how the Saints died (and, yes, many of them DID die at home! : ) But, many of them also used the medical care available in their times.

We DO need to have these discussions, but some of the articles out there may be more helpful than others : )

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 Post subject: Re: Having "the talk" about dying.
PostPosted: Wed Jan 27, 2016 1:05 pm 
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Anna1111 wrote:
Well, we DO have these conversations in my family : )

I find a couple of false premises in the articles. The one about "How we used to die" seems to have been written by someone who based his opinions on novels rather than experience. We really do glamorize the past in our minds. In REAL life, quite frequently the beloved older person's family could not prevent bed sores, nor could they keep linens clean for an incontinent relative - frequently the room smelled quite bad, and the elderly person got life threatening infections from bedsores. They might have been incoherent, wandered off into a nearby pond, etc. They might also have been violent due to dementia. They might have been screaming in severe pain, as was the case with one distant relative of mine. I've known a few older couples that did things the traditional way - and the care was NOT poetic. When family have to work in the fields all day, or support the family in any traditional way well, the idea of flowers by the bed and tidy linens and no pain aren't reality. It is true that SOME people in history died peacefully at home, with picture perfect care, but that wasn't the only way things happened, and I really think it was probably rather rare, given the real-life glimpses I've had.

The one about how doctors die assumes that doctors make the most Godly choices of any group of people. While I have great admiration for SOME doctors, I'd rather hear how the Saints died (and, yes, many of them DID die at home! : ) But, many of them also used the medical care available in their times.

We DO need to have these discussions, but some of the articles out there may be more helpful than others : )


I agree that this was a poetical piece. ;-) In some ways I think it goes along with the "wearing pajamas to school functions" link! Are we ALLOWED to die at home? Will it be considered "elder abuse" if we don't do all that's *possible* even if it's not desirable?


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 Post subject: Re: Having "the talk" about dying.
PostPosted: Wed Jan 27, 2016 1:15 pm 
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It could go that way. They already do that with children who have cancer.

Or, they could FORCE us to die at home to avoid government expense.

Or, they could just euthanize us all to save the money.

I'd rather just get the nanny state out of my life - personally.

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 Post subject: Re: Having "the talk" about dying.
PostPosted: Wed Jan 27, 2016 1:49 pm 
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Funny - we always talked about dying quite freely in my family. As a result, when Mom was very ill in the hospital, I went to her and said, "Mom, we need to have a serious talk." "Okay." "Mom, I think we're going to need to put you in a nursing home." "Oh!" she replied - obviously relieved "I though you were going to discuss funeral plans!" :ugeek:

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