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 Post subject: How to start your own private branch of the CIA
PostPosted: Tue Jul 03, 2012 12:41 pm 
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http://www.nytimes.com/2012/06/26/techn ... gewanted=1

I always joked when I was a teen that my Mom had her own private branch of the CIA (she ALWAYS knew what we were doing!)

Here's how to do it with modern technology.

My take: trusting your teen alone on the computer is like trusting your two year old alone by the pool. It's not about trust - it's about realizing what your child's developmental capabilities are, and what things are dangerous for them.

What's your take?


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 Post subject: Re: How to start your own private branch of the CIA
PostPosted: Tue Jul 03, 2012 6:46 pm 
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Anna1111 wrote:
http://www.nytimes.com/2012/06/26/technology/software-helps-parents-monitor-their-children-online.html?pagewanted=1

I always joked when I was a teen that my Mom had her own private branch of the CIA (she ALWAYS knew what we were doing!)

Here's how to do it with modern technology.

My take: trusting your teen alone on the computer is like trusting your two year old alone by the pool. It's not about trust - it's about realizing what your child's developmental capabilities are, and what things are dangerous for them.

What's your take?
When my dd turned 15 yo last May (2011), I told her from that point forward that I was not going to "regulate" what she watched, read, or did on the computer. We have Netflix and any movie that is watched is in our "History" part of our account. That I check, and there is no way to delete this History. I do have access to her passwords for Facebook and email, and occasionally, pop in on her accounts to do a quick check. Any books she buys or reads, I always see. I told her, basically, that she was old enough to start making her own decisions. Sure, she is going to mess up from time to time, who doesn't? I also told her that if I ever see her mood or behavior change for the worse or if her grades start failing, then all the "privileges" that she was experiencing would be gone "in a blink of an eye." So far, so good and keeping my fingers crossed.

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 Post subject: Re: How to start your own private branch of the CIA
PostPosted: Tue Jul 03, 2012 6:52 pm 
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I agree to a point and I'd also add texting to that, also.
I've learned the hard way. I will no longer allow unlimited access to computer or phone for my 16 y/o dd. Until she gets strong enough to draw her own bounderies with people, I will check up on her. I've seen what can happen very quickly and it's not pretty.
My ds's are now 18 so they are pretty much accountable to God for their actions.


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 Post subject: Re: How to start your own private branch of the CIA
PostPosted: Tue Jul 03, 2012 10:34 pm 
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I'm not denying that there is a time when you step back & let them be accountable to God (after all, my CIA-chief-Mom let me live on my own in a foreign country when I was still a teen ; )

But, it's a gradual process.

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 Post subject: Re: How to start your own private branch of the CIA
PostPosted: Tue Jul 03, 2012 11:33 pm 
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Ok, I should correct myself that my dd didn't have unlimited access, because I did check up on her. It sounds misleading to say it the way I posted it.
Anna1111, it IS a gradual process that starts when they are little and we slowly let go as they grow. This is the hardest age!!!
I'd rather watch a 2 y/o by a pool than be in this stage, lol!


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 Post subject: Re: How to start your own private branch of the CIA
PostPosted: Tue Jul 03, 2012 11:35 pm 
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Absolutely! Mom used to say "When they're little they step on your toes, when they're big, they step on your heart!"

Two year olds are WAY easier. As I always say, they're portable. If you don't like where they are, pick 'em up & move 'em. Just try that with a teen/young adult!

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