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 Post subject: Finding a spouse who wants to homeschool
PostPosted: Mon Jul 17, 2017 11:50 pm 
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Joined: Mon Jul 17, 2017 11:19 pm
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Ever since going through public school myself as a child, I've wanted to homeschool my (hypothetical, future) children. I've read in posts on several forums about how difficult homeschooling can be when both parents aren't 100% on board, so I'd like to find someone else who also wants to homeschool her children too. However, all the unmarried women I seem to meet would prefer to send their children to school instead.

Does anyone have any suggestions on good ways to meet potential spouses who are interested in homeschooling? How did you meet your spouse, assuming you both wanted to homeschool before getting married?

I'm happy to give more details about my specific circumstances, but I also want to keep this post/thread general enough that other people may find it useful for their own searches. Thanks!


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 Post subject: Re: Finding a spouse who wants to homeschool
PostPosted: Wed Jul 19, 2017 6:07 pm 
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Joined: Sat Jun 30, 2012 11:01 pm
Posts: 2491
David85 wrote:
Ever since going through public school myself as a child, I've wanted to homeschool my (hypothetical, future) children. I've read in posts on several forums about how difficult homeschooling can be when both parents aren't 100% on board, so I'd like to find someone else who also wants to homeschool her children too. However, all the unmarried women I seem to meet would prefer to send their children to school instead.

Does anyone have any suggestions on good ways to meet potential spouses who are interested in homeschooling? How did you meet your spouse, assuming you both wanted to homeschool before getting married?

I'm happy to give more details about my specific circumstances, but I also want to keep this post/thread general enough that other people may find it useful for their own searches. Thanks!


Welcome, David. I was completely against homeschooling when my husband and I first married. I never even considered homeschooling and neither did my husband. We assumed that by the time they reached Kindergarten, they would go to the public schools.

When we moved to a different state, we lived near several homeschoolers and several "non-homeschoolers." One neighbor is a special education public school teacher and assumed all "homeschoolers" were awkward and unsocial. (eyes roll here)....

As I got to know the homeschool families and talked about the different approaches, I started warming up to the idea of homeschooling. Since we had just moved to the new area right before my daughter was entering Kindergarten, I went ahead and enrolled her in Kindergarten with our local school as some of our neighbors were also entering the same grade. She LOVED Kindergarten, but by the time she was ready for 1st Grade, I was no longer comfortable sending her back to the school. Not that she had a horrible experience, per say, but I just wanted to try and homeschool her. My son was only 4 at this time, so we did a lot learning, together. I relied heavily on the hs families, too.

When my son was ready for Kindergarten, he went to the same school. However, he got sick every other month from strep throat or bad, ear infections. He missed a lot of "school" at the building, but we still did things at home. By the end of his Kindergarten year, he was begging to go home and stay there.

All of this to say that I was not "anti nor for" homeschooling, at first. I had to know people who were doing it and get to know them and how everything works because when a person first starts out, it is very overwhelming.

You definitely want to talk to your future spouse about your idea to homeschool, but if she is not comfortable with it, you both need to decide what to do. If she does agree, she will need a lot of support from you. Not just going to work and coming home, but really helping out with whatever extra needs to be done.

Years ago, I took my kids to the park while my dh was working overtime. One of his co-workers was at the same park with all 4 of his kids. I looked at him with surprise. He said that every Thursday night, he takes the kids to the park for 3 hours while his wife enjoys her time off. She can either clean the house, take a nap, take a long bubble bath/shower, whatever. Go shopping. Whatever she wants to do. That is her 3 hours of downtime away from the kids. He stuck this this routine until the oldest was 6 years old.

My neighbor's dh would come straight home from work, pick up the kids and start playing with them. If his wife was busy with one of the kids, he started dinner (if it wasn't already cooking). Or he would fold a basket of clothes. Anything he could do to make his wife's life easier.

Deep discussion is warranted. You might be able to find a future spouse by hanging out with the homeschoolers' families and see if they have any suggestions. :)

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 Post subject: Re: Finding a spouse who wants to homeschool
PostPosted: Thu Jul 20, 2017 3:59 pm 
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Posts: 8115
I suspect that few of us were all agreed on homeschooling before marriage.

my feeling is this; when choosing a spouse, look for the person that is God's right choice for you. someone who loves God and shares values & personality traits that suit you.

you can have checklist for car shopping, but for choosing spouse, it's not so good. you're not going to agree on every point before marriage. if she loves God, and respects you as the Bible teaches, the rest will come in time.

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