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 Post subject: Rough times fo mom.
PostPosted: Sun May 14, 2017 10:33 am 
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Joined: Sat Jun 30, 2012 5:22 pm
Posts: 8837
Mom has been here over 8 months now! :o I'm surprised at how easy it's been. (For dh and i, anyway.)

She has recently been getting more annoyed by things. It's probably been building up. We have different ways of doing some things, expectations of what others SHOULD do, and personality quirks that all come into play.

We needed to use up some leftovers yesterday. To ME that means get the leftovers out of the fridge and have a potluck. To Mom it meant "repurpose" something. She also made stuff early for potluck and then potluck was cancelled (i think that's a first!). She made biscuits and then made some leftovers into a gravy for over the biscuits. That was fine. There was spinach made, too, so i put a tablespoon of that on dgs plate and she said that was HERS, SHE had paid for it, and she had put it "in the corner" so we wouldn't use it! Oops. (It wasn't in "a corner" but that's beside the point.)

She went to her room and i didn't see her the rest of the evening. I had stayed in my room all day watching tv, myself - a day "off"! :)

She's been getting more irritated by things we do like leaving food on the counter. *I* don't like my food COLD and often leave it on the counter to come back to. She likes a "clean" kitchen (meaning orderly without stuff on the counter). I'd love to take pics of when SHE leaves things on the counter! - hehehe. She'll throw our stuff out! I've been more careful about it. Dgs isn't too bad about it but dh will go upstairs and make something in the night and leave everything out. And ya know what? I think that is his prerogative. He actually does more work around the house than anyone else and cleaning up after him in the kitchen is not a bit deal. (FRUSTRATING at times, yes.) :mrgreen:

Anyways, she had little meltdown on the way to town one day and talked about some things like that. She said she'd even tho't of moving out :? but "where would she go"? She talks about it not being her house so she needs to let us live like WE want but it drives her nuts. (Understood) But i don't want her to feel like it isn't her house, too.

Unfortunately, we can't keep the house as warm as she would like (needs, actually) so she does stick to her warm room. sigh ANYWAY, just venting, i guess.

My first Mother's Day with Mom! :D


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 Post subject: Re: Rough times fo mom.
PostPosted: Sun May 14, 2017 4:34 pm 
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Joined: Sat Jun 30, 2012 7:14 pm
Posts: 8115
Ah - well - just normal frustrations of life I suppose. Not easy to deal with but not so surprising after 8 months.

Glad you're having your first Mother's Day with your Mom! That's exciting.

IMO - the Papa is the king of the castle. If HE wants to leave stuff out, there's not veto of that whether he cleans up much or not :)

It's true that it's her house, too - but Daddy makes the rules ;)

A couple of things that might help:
1. A "Mom's Stuff" bin in the fridge with a label.
2. An Electric throw so she can keep warm in the living room (ask me, I know - I need one, too :) ) I also have a little rice filled sock that I can microwave & put under my feet to keep my toes warm. *I* am not comfortable below 78 or so - I cannot expect the rest of the world to bake, much as I might like that :D

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 Post subject: Re: Rough times fo mom.
PostPosted: Sun May 14, 2017 6:58 pm 
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Joined: Sat Jun 30, 2012 3:05 pm
Posts: 3524
Location: Central TX
My mom gets annoyed by us, we get annoyed by her. She would probably move out if she could, she has thought about it before. She usually only gets upset if someone messes with her stuff or if the kids don't take their meds. Or if the kids make ridiculous messes. Sometimes she over-reacts and I just ignore it. At least she has her room to retreat to. Usually, she'll be sitting trying to watch tv and the kids are running through the house yelling and wrestling, and she'll sigh and get up and go watch tv in her room. Sometimes I want to knock and ask if I can come in, too! :shock: :lol:

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Mom to Christian (13), Saphira (10), Xavier (5), and Adrian (2).


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 Post subject: Re: Rough times fo mom.
PostPosted: Sun May 14, 2017 8:14 pm 
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Thanks for the perspective! It *is* just real life. She said the other day - "that's why i'm not married" - because she wants things her own way. Yes, Mom, that *is* why you have been alone all these years.


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 Post subject: Re: Rough times fo mom.
PostPosted: Sun May 14, 2017 8:20 pm 
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Posts: 8115
That's kind of sad : (

Living with other people (as long as we're in a fallen world) is bound to have some frustrations here & there.

Gives you a great opportunity to show her God's Love, tho : )

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 Post subject: Re: Rough times fo mom.
PostPosted: Fri May 19, 2017 3:17 pm 
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Joined: Sat Jun 30, 2012 5:19 pm
Posts: 4143
Location: NE Central Texas
I donot like for things to be moved around., and it was hell for me when we had the hail storm last year and everything was here and there while repairs were made.
I have a shelf for dairy, one for veggies, one for meat. one for whatever. I can find things better that way.


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 Post subject: Re: Rough times fo mom.
PostPosted: Sat May 20, 2017 1:12 am 
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Joined: Sun Jul 01, 2012 5:16 pm
Posts: 2311
Location: Sunshine State
I have my own tool box, my all purpose scissors are stashed away, I have a stash of scotch tape, my stapler is hidden...because these things get borrowed and not put back and I waste too much time looking for them when I need them. Dh is the worse offender. Many times he asks me if he can borrow a screwdriver because he can't find his.

I have a friend whose adult son came to help with the family farm because her husband is recovering from health issues. She said her kitchen is a wreck. Her son never puts anything back where it was. At least he cooks for both of them. My son puts stuff back :D

Living with adults is always a compromise, mature persons can always make it work, one needs to talk things out. Just don't take my stapler 8-)

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"...with men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible." Matthew 19:26


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 Post subject: Re: Rough times fo mom.
PostPosted: Sat May 20, 2017 10:09 am 
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Joined: Sat Jun 30, 2012 5:22 pm
Posts: 8837
Briva wrote:
. Just don't take my stapler 8-)


In a favorite episode of Sue Thomas FBEye one of the agents is being sent away for her safety. She says she's worried someone will take her stapler. Another agent says "They'll have to go thru me!" and she answers, "It's you I was thinking of!". :lol:

Ya just gotta draw some lines! :mrgreen:


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 Post subject: Re: Rough times fo mom.
PostPosted: Sat May 20, 2017 10:31 am 
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Joined: Sat Jun 30, 2012 7:14 pm
Posts: 8115
I read in Women's Day some years ago of a woman who painted the handles of all her tools pink & put flower decals on them to deter spousal theft ;)

Yeah- my scissors & pencils are stolen all.the.time.

*I* am untidy. BUT I KNOW where I left stuff - and when it's not there. . .

Drives me NUTS! :roll:

I'm reminded of the 7 Dwarfs when Snow White "tidied" their home, and they angrily declared "We like it this way!" (one of my favorite movie lines ever! :D )

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 Post subject: Re: Rough times fo mom.
PostPosted: Sat May 20, 2017 3:10 pm 
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Joined: Sat Jun 30, 2012 3:05 pm
Posts: 3524
Location: Central TX
We have several pairs of scissors and yet there's never a single pair in the drawer when I need them. Same with tape, pens, pencil sharpener, screw driver, etc. I'm just going to build up my own stash and keep it hidden. My mom keeps the TV remotes in her room and only brings them out when we really need them, otherwise they end up at the bottom of the toy box.

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Mom to Christian (13), Saphira (10), Xavier (5), and Adrian (2).


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