How long is it

LisaTX · **Posted:** Sat Aug 18, 2012 10:01 pm

after you take your kids out of PS and they're together every day, that they're supposed to start getting along? It's been a year and a half already!

Tory · **Joined:** Sat Jun 30, 2012 6:58 pm **Posts:** 5828

Mine never get along ALL the time. It comes and goes. One day they'll be at each other for every tiny thing and just when I'm about jump out a window.. I'll hear them laughing and singing.
It's strange, this sibling relationship thing. :roll:

LisaTX · **Posted:** Sat Aug 18, 2012 10:42 pm

Some days are better than others, but they still bicker a LOT! Today they bickered nonstop and I was so not in the mood for it, having really bad back pain. I am not seeing this magical bond that other homeschoolers talk about, lol.

Tory · **Joined:** Sat Jun 30, 2012 6:58 pm **Posts:** 5828

Strange as it sounds, the bickering is part of the bonding. However, sometimes with mine, I do have to draw the line and seperate them. Divide and conquer! I have OFTEN assigned them chores in seperate areas so that they are not "always" together.
I learned the hard way to not send them to clean the kitchen together! Eeek!! Or cleaning the same room together. That only made them argue worse.
Your dc are old enough to know that mom means business and chores need to be done, so you get double your whammy there. LOL!

LisaTX · **Posted:** Sun Aug 19, 2012 5:02 am

Yeah, maybe it gets worse when they've had too much of each other and need a break. It's like they don't know how to just play by themselves. This afternoon, ds sat down to play with his legos and dd tried to play, too and he said "I just want to play alone for awhile." So I told her to find something to do by herself for awhile. That's probably what they needed.

LindaS · **Posted:** Sun Aug 19, 2012 6:56 am

I have asked my only child if she wished she had had a brother or sister, she says NO,
she is pretty much a loner at home by choice. She goes to her room, reads, studies, etc. No tv in her room, we got rid of it, not that she watched it but it was a pain just sitting there collecting dust.
Every so often we play games together and she is very compeitive. Hates to lose.
But when she is with kids her age she likes it.
She has seen siblings fight at church even,
there is a set of twins , a boy and a girl, now graduated high school, that the sister right out ignores the brother.
DD said she never talks to him at groups they are in, it is like they are not related. I sure hope she does not do that at home.
Try once a day telling them that at such and such time they need to go find something to do by theirselves for an hour or so. That might help.

Pam in Colorado · **Joined:** Sat Jun 30, 2012 2:58 pm **Posts:** 1095

Many stories about homeschooling families make things sound so rosy when in reality they are not. Some families have kids that get along, some don't some of the time, some a lot of the time, some rarely. I have 6 siblings. We would get along most of the time, but if there were troubles amongst us, usually there was someone else to go play with, so we usually divided ourselves, but if not, Mom and Dad did. My sister and I LOVED to read, so we often went and found a spot to do so.

Thankfully my last two, both girls, get along really well. They still have their moments, but they usually separate themselves. They are almost 12 and 13 so they can self monitor. Yours are young still so may just need some redirection or separation like you have done. My first two were opposite gender. They were best buds when they were really little (and they still quarreled at times), when dd got to be about 9/10 she really needed more private space than her db who was almost 3 years younger and it hurt his feelings but he got over it.

It is much worse to deal with such things when you are ill or pregnant for sure. They may get closer over time, or not. Personality plays a lot into it. Allowing them space when they need it and time together when they desire it helps to build respect for each other ,and for individual needs.

Jenileigh · **Posted:** Sun Aug 19, 2012 12:59 pm

I agree Pam. Many people make things sound so rosie. I know some siblings get along better regardless of public school or homeschooling. My girlfriend has 5 kids and even though they don't get along all the time they are so close and more bonded than any other family I've ever seen. My girls are all 5 1/2 years apart. That space in this household made for lots of fighting.

Anna1111 · **Joined:** Sat Jun 30, 2012 7:14 pm **Posts:** 8115

My sister very wisely says, "Never judge your inside by other people's outside!"

Many people don't share the bad stuff, but do share the good stuff.

Personally, I will be the first to admit that I don't believe in saying things that put others - especially my family - in a bad light. I'm not going to post very often or very graphically if my child misbehaves (unless it's somehow cute or funny). I believe in dealing with that privately, and don't want to embarrass her. But, things that make me happy, I will post : )

All kids disagree now and then - some more than others. Certain variables, like how close they are in age, can make a big difference (in our family, the closer together in age, the more squabbles).

But, I'm sure you have a lot of great days with your dc, too - you've posted many things that show how sweet they can be : )

As for the magical-getting-along stage, well, I've never heard of or even imagined that! ; )

Tory · **Joined:** Sat Jun 30, 2012 6:58 pm **Posts:** 5828

Lisa, you hit on something. You said he wanted to play and she came in and wanted to join him but he wanted that time alone.
Aha!
This happens here even now. Because they are always home together the whole "give me space" becomes an issue. However, we do have to learn that sometimes our company isn't wanted.
My dc will get their feelings hurt but then I remind them of a time when THEY themselves wanted to play all by themselves and a sibling intruded. Of course, this can't happen all the time or else the person will become selfish, never wanting the sibling around, but every so often, time alone to work on a project, to read a book, to play with a toy is good.

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