I really need to work on dd's attitude

LisaTX · **Posted:** Thu Aug 16, 2012 10:28 pm

She lied to me today, which she rarely does. I called her out on it and she said "What's so bad about lying?" I told her it's a sin and God tells us not to lie in the Bible. She said, "Well, maybe He needs to change that." :shock:

We had a nice little chat after that. What kind of kid says things like this at 5? Ds is no angel, but he would never say anything like that.

Anna1111 · **Joined:** Sat Jun 30, 2012 7:14 pm **Posts:** 8115

I think this is related to saying "I hate you" to a parent you're angry at when you're little. She's saying something very inappropriate out of anger - not good, but not really surprising. Because she is so little, she doesn't fully appreciate the gravity of what she is saying, she's just angry and expressing her anger.

My two cents (take it or leave it according to its usefulness to you): I tend to think that the moment of correction, when a child might be feeling guilty & angry is not the best time to mention God or the Bible. I try to instead wait until the anger of the moment has passed and the child is feeling calm & loving again - maybe at bed time when reviewing the days events, or telling a bed time story. then they tend to be much more receptive to moral lessons, words of instruction from God & parents.

I really like Jacob Abbott's examples of how to deal with these types of issues in this book:

http://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/11667

LisaTX · **Posted:** Thu Aug 16, 2012 10:50 pm

But this was at bedtime right before we read stories and she wasn't even upset or angry, lol. She just had this "Who cares" attitude about it.

Anna1111 · **Joined:** Sat Jun 30, 2012 7:14 pm **Posts:** 8115

Kids!

From what you've said of her other times, it sounds like she's *usually* a respectful & affectionate kid. She may have been feeling a little defensive/embarrassed and covered it up with apathy/tough girl attitude.

Since she seldom lies, it sounds like she *knew* she did something wrong, but didn't want to face it.

Sis · **Joined:** Sat Jun 30, 2012 5:22 pm **Posts:** 8837

It is wrong, of course. And it has terrible consequences. Nobody will trust you or believe what you say if they know you lie. You could question everything she says for a day (or an hour) and just remind her you can't be sure she's telling the truth.

LisaTX · **Posted:** Fri Aug 17, 2012 11:57 am

Yeah, she is usually respectful, but sometimes she does get an attitude and I don't think I've taken it as seriously as I should. If she gets this attitude with me, even just sometimes, she'll get it with God. I don't want her to be even worse when she gets older because I didn't deal with it now. She's just so the opposite of ds. It's weird, she's usually good, but doesn't take God and prayer seriously. Ds takes God and prayer seriously, but he's the one that's usually bad when it comes to lying and stuff. How does that work out?

One time, I found something of mine that was broken and was going to find out who did it. Then I forgot about it, but dd came and brought it to me and said "Mom, I'm sorry, but I accidentally broke this." Ds would have tried to hide it and act like he never did anything. He found a fishing bobber on the ground at the park one day and I told him to leave it alone. A couple days later, I was doing laundry and guess what fell out of his pants pocket? The fishing bobber.

Anna1111 · **Joined:** Sat Jun 30, 2012 7:14 pm **Posts:** 8115

You're absolutely right about dealing with it now, and not overlooking it.

It's funny how different kids take different attitudes to things. I know someone who was ultra-devout as a kid (own private devotions at home in early grade school, Bible memory work, very enthusiastic) and denied the Faith entirely as an adult. And I've seen others who seemed rebellious & disinterested who became Clergy or Christian workers (missionaries, etc) - you just never can tell.

LindaS · **Posted:** Fri Aug 17, 2012 12:45 pm

You do not want her to get into the habit of lying no matter how small the lie is.
God tells us white lies count also.
Watch that tongue. I have a plaque that says, "Lord place your hand around my shoulder and you hand over my mouth."

LisaTX · **Posted:** Fri Aug 17, 2012 12:50 pm

Anna1111 wrote:

You're absolutely right about dealing with it now, and not overlooking it.

It's funny how different kids take different attitudes to things. I know someone who was ultra-devout as a kid (own private devotions at home in early grade school, Bible memory work, very enthusiastic) and denied the Faith entirely as an adult. And I've seen others who seemed rebellious & disinterested who became Clergy or Christian workers (missionaries, etc) - you just never can tell.

That's true, you never know! Good thing there's also prayer!

LisaTX · **Posted:** Fri Aug 17, 2012 12:57 pm

LindaS wrote:

You do not want her to get into the habit of lying no matter how small the lie is.
God tells us white lies count also.
Watch that tongue. I have a plaque that says, "Lord place your hand around my shoulder and you hand over my mouth."

I need that plaque!

Yes, ds tells lots of little white lies and then says, "I'm just joking" and I say "No, you're just lying!"

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I really need to work on dd's attitude

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