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 Post subject: To pay or not to pay, that is the question.
PostPosted: Mon Jul 02, 2012 11:50 pm 
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To pay or not to pay, that is the question.
If you are going somewhere - let's say to visit the botanical gardens in a town not too far distant - and you want to invite someone to go with you - someone close like a sibling, parents, good friends, etc.... Do you feel you should pay their way in, if there's a charge, and buy lunch or dinner for them since you invited them?


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 Post subject: Re: To pay or not to pay, that is the question.
PostPosted: Tue Jul 03, 2012 8:57 am 
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Joined: Sat Jun 30, 2012 8:32 am
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Location: TX
I guess it depends on the person I am asking. We hang out with another couple at our church. We are all the time inviting each other here or there. It is known that we pay our own way. I guess you should make that clear when you are inviting them. If you do not want to pay you might say something like... "I am going to the zoo and wondered if you would be interested in going with me. The cost is $20." Or if you are treating them just ask and say my treat!


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 Post subject: Re: To pay or not to pay, that is the question.
PostPosted: Tue Jul 03, 2012 12:03 pm 
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Yes - the custom is the inviter pays, unless stated otherwise.

Your family *should* know your financial situation and volunteer to pay their own way at times when thy know that would be helpful, but I know that doesn't always happen.

You can always say "Dutch treat" or something like that if you don't plan to pay.

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 Post subject: Re: To pay or not to pay, that is the question.
PostPosted: Tue Jul 03, 2012 12:39 pm 
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Location: Searcy, Arkansas
Whenever we go somewhere, I err on the side of expecting to pay. If we invite folks, I expect to pay their way. If someone invites me, I offer/expect to pay in case they are unable and simply did not understand that inviting someone usually brings that expectation.


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 Post subject: Re: To pay or not to pay, that is the question.
PostPosted: Tue Jul 03, 2012 6:00 pm 
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Be honest and say upfront what you expect. We were invited to a bd party at a steak place for my niece's bd. No one ever said if we were supposed to pay our own way or not. Questions went unanswered and we didn't go. (I couldnt' afford the cost for the four of us at the time).
Later, my niece was upset because not many people came to her party.

If you plan to pay, say "it's my treat!" if not, say "I'd like for you to come if you can, it's $$ per person" so it's clear from the start. For a large family maybe offer to pay for a few of them.. you can, say "I know it's a bit costly and I'd like to help by paying for two of you if you can pay for the others" or something like that.


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 Post subject: Re: To pay or not to pay, that is the question.
PostPosted: Tue Jul 03, 2012 6:41 pm 
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Tory wrote:
Be honest and say upfront what you expect. We were invited to a bd party at a steak place for my niece's bd. No one ever said if we were supposed to pay our own way or not. Questions went unanswered and we didn't go. (I couldnt' afford the cost for the four of us at the time).
Later, my niece was upset because not many people came to her party.

If you plan to pay, say "it's my treat!" if not, say "I'd like for you to come if you can, it's $$ per person" so it's clear from the start. For a large family maybe offer to pay for a few of them.. you can, say "I know it's a bit costly and I'd like to help by paying for two of you if you can pay for the others" or something like that.

Great advice, Tory.

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