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What do you do?
http://forum.homeschoolchristian.com/viewtopic.php?f=15&t=479		 Page 1 of 2
Author:  Anna1111 [ Fri Aug 03, 2012 8:39 pm ]
Post subject:  What do you do?
Somewhere along the way in life, I decided that being a Wife & Mother was a Godly vocation, one to be very pleased to have. Perhaps because my own widowed Mother was so admirable.

I had several Christian friends who were Moms, tho I was still single. I admired them and their callings.

One day, we were in a study group together, and the clergyman in charge of discussion asked us each to introduce ourselves and say what we did.

I expected each of my friends to say they were a Wife, Mother, SAHM, Housewife - you know - something like that. Instead, each one told some other story (not a direct answer to the question) - What she had studied in college. What her last paid job had been. What her hobbies were. What she wished she was doing. What she aspired to do. Not a single one said what she DID! I was very disheartened. They had this great vocation, and felt the need to explain it away when asked.

I decided right then and there that if I ever became a Housewife, I would be pleased to SAY SO!

You know, when people feel looked down upon by society, they insist on constant changes in terminology that refers to them. Old terms are deemed insulting.

Well, I decided I preferred the old terms. Please, call me a *housewife.*!

Any feelings on the matter out there?
Author:  Tory [ Fri Aug 03, 2012 8:48 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: What do you do?
In high school, when everyone was being ask, "What do you want to do with your life?" I was the only girl in my class to say I wanted to get married and have children!
Everyone acted like that was a bad thing. I wanted to be home with my children, and not work outside the home, so why sugar coat it?
I had a mom that was home when I came home from school, and I wanted that for my family, too.
Author:  Tory [ Fri Aug 03, 2012 8:51 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: What do you do?
I want to add: My MIL never liked that I didn't work outside the home. She was always telling my dh odd jobs that I could/should be doing... even suggesting that I work full time someplace when we had twin toddlers at home.
It hurt our marriage because my dh began to resent that I wasn't working and was putting all of this pressure on him to provide for the family even when he knew before we ever married that once the babies started coming, I would be at home with them.
Author:  StacyinTN [ Fri Aug 03, 2012 10:15 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: What do you do?
Anna1111 wrote:
Somewhere along the way in life, I decided that being a Wife & Mother was a Godly vocation, one to be very pleased to have. Perhaps because my own widowed Mother was so admirable.

I had several Christian friends who were Moms, tho I was still single. I admired them and their callings.

One day, we were in a study group together, and the clergyman in charge of discussion asked us each to introduce ourselves and say what we did.

I expected each of my friends to say they were a Wife, Mother, SAHM, Housewife - you know - something like that. Instead, each one told some other story (not a direct answer to the question) - What she had studied in college. What her last paid job had been. What her hobbies were. What she wished she was doing. What she aspired to do. Not a single one said what she DID! I was very disheartened. They had this great vocation, and felt the need to explain it away when asked.

I decided right then and there that if I ever became a Housewife, I would be pleased to SAY SO!

You know, when people feel looked down upon by society, they insist on constant changes in terminology that refers to them. Old terms are deemed insulting.

Well, I decided I preferred the old terms. Please, call me a *housewife.*!

Any feelings on the matter out there?


Society does not want a "house wife." If you don't have a college degree and are actively working, then you are "nobody." I am all for women working or going to college or not getting married, or getting married and staying home and raising kids. It should be what the individual wants to do, not want society wants us to do.
Author:  Martha R. [ Fri Aug 03, 2012 10:40 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: What do you do?
It used to be that every woman was expected to be a housewife and took great pride in her home, children, and garden/yard. Certainly during my growing up years, that was the case. I'm not sure what happened but by the time I was out of high school, women were expected to be working and it was abnormal not to. School programmed us to be "career focused." I've done both career and SAHM, and SAHM is about 10 billion times more rewarding.
Author:  Darla [ Fri Aug 03, 2012 11:39 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: What do you do?
I found that I still said "homemaker" or "homeschooling mom" even after I started working almost four years ago now. Or at least I did for quite some time, especially when my hours were very part time. Now that I'm closer to full time, and because I love my job, I do more often than not, now, answer with naming my job as well as saying "and still a homeschool mom." I enjoy describing my paying job to people. I'm so thankful that I work from home and still feel like a stay-at-home mom. I am a SAHM -- I just work too, sometimes, while I'm at home. :)
Author:  Sis [ Sat Aug 04, 2012 10:44 am ]
Post subject:  Re: What do you do?
Off the top of my head I think what happened was something like this:

SAHM's of the 1800's had a lot on their plates. They still had servants and large houses and many visitors that could stay LONG periods of time. "Visiting" was considered a must. It was a full-time job. Industry came along and made things easier in many ways. But then the depression hit and made things much harder. Some women "went to work" or found work to get buy during the depression. Barriers about what women *could* do and were *allowed* to do started to break down. Not much later the wars started and women were called to fill in the gaps the men left as their civic duty.

Women found out what it felt like to bring home the bacon and fry it up in the pan. They discovered they were good at a variety of things outside the home and there was a freedom in making the paycheck and saying how it was spent.

IMO, working outside the home is easier than keeping a home running smoothly with children in the house. Add to that the power of the paycheck and it's rather heady.
Author:  Donna/NM [ Sat Aug 04, 2012 1:35 pm ]
Post subject:  Excellent, analysis, Sis!
Sis wrote:
Off the top of my head I think what happened was something like this:

SAHM's of the 1800's had a lot on their plates. They still had servants and large houses and many visitors that could stay LONG periods of time. "Visiting" was considered a must. It was a full-time job. Industry came along and made things easier in many ways. But then the depression hit and made things much harder. Some women "went to work" or found work to get buy during the depression. Barriers about what women *could* do and were *allowed* to do started to break down. Not much later the wars started and women were called to fill in the gaps the men left as their civic duty.

Women found out what it felt like to bring home the bacon and fry it up in the pan. They discovered they were good at a variety of things outside the home and there was a freedom in making the paycheck and saying how it was spent.

IMO, working outside the home is easier than keeping a home running smoothly with children in the house. Add to that the power of the paycheck and it's rather heady.


My concern comes into play though, when women are made to feel "less than", when they do become keepers of the home.

I have been privileged to be home for 25 years....my heart wasn't always in it; but I knew I was doing the right thing for my family.

I received much grief from in laws, and even DH, early on.

Even though I truly, in my heart of hearts, knew I was doing the right thing for our family....I still, at times, (and even now), diminished my own value; and had to struggle to see the importance of what I was doing. Don't know if it came/comes from societal projections, or my own.

There definitely, is power, to having your own paycheck.
There is definitely temptations to have, and make more money and perhaps building a nest egg.....but I do wonder at what sacrifice.

I guess no matter what path we choose in life though, there will always be sacrifice. We can't do it all. One area will suffer, one way or another.
Author:  LindaS [ Sat Aug 04, 2012 2:26 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: What do you do?
I had worked almost 20 yrs before I got married.
It was DH's idea that I not work. Plus I was getting very tired of the place I was at.
So I had gotten all that out of my system when I got married.
I never went back to work. When had DD 6 years later and there was no way we could of afforded day care.
We do not regret that I did not work after marriage.
Author:  Donna/NM [ Sat Aug 04, 2012 5:22 pm ]
Post subject:  P.S.
I prefer the term, "Homemaker" or just plain ole, "Homeschooler".
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