I remember growing up, I always knew I wanted to have a family. In my mind, I was going to have kids and have a career, but not at the same time. It didn't end up working out that way because I had my son soon after joining the AF. I grudgingly re-enlisted when I was pregnant with dd, even though I really wanted to get out and stay home. But there was no way I could have gotten out at that time. When I finally got out, I gave up a lot, but feel like I gained so much more. I had wanted to stay in the full 20 yrs and retire, but my kids would be grown and moving out by the time I retired. That thought terrified me. Missing all those years with them while someone else is with them and then finally having time to spend at home, only to have them move out. I thought there was something wrong with me because no matter what job I had or what base I was stationed at, I wasn't happy and I hated working. I finally figured out that it didn't matter what I was doing, I resented it because it took me away from my kids and my home. It was an important and rewarding job, but it wasn't important to me.

I got made fun of by co-workers who were also moms because when we had days off of work, but the daycare was still open, I would keep my kids home with me, while they dropped theirs off at daycare and had the day to themselves. They thought there was something wrong with me because I actually wanted my kids to be with me. Their attitude was, "Hey, I'm still paying for that day anyways, so I might as well take my kid and get my money's worth." My attitude was, "I feel like I never get to see my kids. How exciting to have a day off to do something special with them!"

Recently, my SIL's husband asked me how I was liking staying at home. I said it's what I've wanted to do, so I like it! He asked if I missed working at all. I thought about it and honestly answered that I did not miss a thing about working. I really don't. Even on the worst days at home with the kids, I don't miss working. I don't understand people who say they would go crazy staying home with their kids. I went crazy at work, wishing I was home with my kids.

When people ask what I do, I think I say something like "I stay home with my kids and homeschool them." I wish there was a word that encompassed "housewife", "SAHM", and "Homeschooler" because I never know which one to say, I do all of them. I feel like "Homeschooler" probably sums it up best because people will probably guess that if you homeschool, you stay home and take care of the house and stuff. I do sometimes say "I just stay home with my kids" or "I only stay home with my kids", which makes it sound not very important, so I guess I need to fix that. Even though I know this is where I need and want to be, I still haven't quite found my identity as a "housewife", yet. I know it's an important job, but it doesn't always feel like it.

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Mom to Christian (13), Saphira (10), Xavier (5), and Adrian (2).

I think that what Martha said is true. At one time was expected but today it is looked down upon. Even though I know and see this change, I always felt like I had to defend myself when I was a SAHM. I also must admit that I do have a sense of pride saying that I am a nursing student. I am excited to become an RN. I do not like that society impressions this upon us or that I give into those impressions, but just being bluntly honest I have. I try so hard to not care what others think - only what My Father thinks and succeed a lot but all in all I do. It's a battle of the flesh.

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“The hunger for love is much more difficult to remove than the hunger for bread.”
― Mother Teresa