(You could think of her as your married daughter or maybe even ME asking you.)
She boasts to everyone who will listen that she gets up at 2:30 in the morning in order to get the housework done. She takes a shower, does the dishes, mops the floor and gets the bag ready for the preschooler. She goes back to bed for an hour or so then gets everybody ready to get out the door. She leaves for work around 7:15-7:30. (Her dh goes to work early in the morning and is home in time to get the kids from school.)
After her regular job, she also cleans houses some days. Then she doesn't get home until 7-7:30 at which time she is exhausted, takes a bath and goes to bed.
If this worked for her, it wouldn't be a problem, of course. But she is miserable and angry all the time.
She complains about her dh all the time, how he won't take the 4yo to the park and doesn't clean up his messes around the house. He does take care of the animals and the kids from 2:30-9 BUT he may sneak in a nap while the kids watch tv. He cooks dinner every night and holds a good job.
She works so much because she wants for her kids what she never had - money and things. Money to have clothes and nice shoes, to go places and do things - do 4H, Boy Scouts, swimming, sports, going to pick apples, etc. She also like to have her hair colored and trimmed and her nails done.
She does make it a priority to be at her kids events whenever possible (ie when she's not working).
She's a very anxious kind of person, if that makes a difference.
MY take on this is that she is avoiding things by getting up so early and going to bed so early. She adores her kids so perhaps it is her dh she is avoiding. ?? Or do you see something else?