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Wedding and shunning.
http://forum.homeschoolchristian.com/viewtopic.php?f=12&t=8218		 Page 1 of 1
Author:  Sis [ Sun Aug 27, 2017 10:39 am ]
Post subject:  Wedding and shunning.
I had the opportunity to sit with the "unwashed" at my nephew's wedding. What an eye-opener!

There were 8 from our family at the wedding with probably 200 or so guests! My sil was excluded from all participation except being escorted to her seat. She was not invited nor allowed to participate in the pre-wedding traditions of decorating or rehearsal dinner or anything.

This was a "Christian" wedding but our family was basically shunned the entire time. The father of the bride was only introduced to us because my brother caught him off-guard and it would've been painfully awkward not to perform the handshake and "glad to meet yous".

My sister is difficult to be sure. I'm not sure how *I* would have treated her and her mother if i was in their shoes. She's loud, obnoxious, foul-mouthed, blasphemous, and i'm pretty sure she was loaded (acted drunk without the alcohol) but this WAS her baby marrying into their family. I sat next to her and she was trying so hard to ignore the shunning and just enjoy her baby's wedding. From my viewpoint, she seemed to be the bigger person in this situation.

There was a book there to write a verse for the couple to take into their new life. I wanted to write:

But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;
That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust. For if ye love them which love you, what reward have ye? do not even the publicans the same? And if ye salute your brethren only, what do ye more than others? do not even the publicans so? Matt 5:44+
Author:  Tory [ Sun Aug 27, 2017 2:17 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Wedding and shunning.
Oh my they sound like awful people. Who treats people that way? My feelings are its only 9ne day and anyone can be civil for a day!

My dd went to a party recently and texted me that a very unwanted and unexpected guest was there. I told her to be kind and enjoy herself. I told her to put herself in that person's shoes and know that they probably feel very out of place. So be nice and greet them.

Underneath all our differences we are all people and we all can relate to how it feels to be the shunned one. Those doing the shunning need more prayer than the shunnee usually!
Author:  LisaTX [ Sun Aug 27, 2017 3:07 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Wedding and shunning.
I tend to like loud and obnoxious people, because what you see us what you get. I feel like they're trustworthy and usually very nice/friendly. They may be tiring to be around all the time, but one day should not be so hard, especially if she's the mother of one of the people getting married. So sad she, and all of you, were treated like that.
Author:  Anna1111 [ Sat Sep 02, 2017 12:31 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Wedding and shunning.
Sorry your feelings were hurt, Sis! (((Hugs)))

This is a very complex question- and not so easy to give a pat answer to

You said it's a "Christian" wedding. Does that mean that the Bride & Groom are BOTH Christian? And your Sister, too?

If your Sister is a "Christian" but (as you say) a "Blasphemer" and "loaded" (on something other than alcohol? :? )- then the Bible commands "not to even eat" with her. But if she is a non-Believer, and her son IS a Believer, that complicates matters. And, if the marriage is between a non-Believer & a Believer - that is even MORE difficult!

To complicate matters - is there also a divorce situation, where maybe the Groom's parents couldn't sit together?

I was just reading II Cor the other day, where St. Paul talks about his personal anguish at shunning a certain Christian. Christians SHOULD be heartbroken if they need to do such a thing - But, if they do it coldly . . . :(

All in all, a very sad situation for all concerned, and most difficult for the couple themselves. :(
Author:  Sis [ Sat Sep 02, 2017 1:19 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Wedding and shunning.
Anna1111 wrote:
Sorry your feelings were hurt, Sis! (((Hugs)))

This is a very complex question- and not so easy to give a pat answer to

You said it's a "Christian" wedding. Does that mean that the Bride & Groom are BOTH Christian? And your Sister, too?

>>> Yes, the bride's parents said they would not agree to a marriage unless the groom was also a Christian. The couple has been living together for a couple of years anyway and that nearly vetoes a big wedding imho but i know others don't feel that way. He became a Christian at some point, i guess.

If your Sister is a "Christian" but (as you say) a "Blasphemer" and "loaded" (on something other than alcohol? :? )- then the Bible commands "not to even eat" with her. But if she is a non-Believer, and her son IS a Believer, that complicates matters. And, if the marriage is between a non-Believer & a Believer - that is even MORE difficult!

>>> Oh no! SHE is definitely NOT a Christian. She advocates for witches and all kinds of spiritualism but not Christ.


To complicate matters - is there also a divorce situation, where maybe the Groom's parents couldn't sit together?

>>> No divorce.

I was just reading II Cor the other day, where St. Paul talks about his personal anguish at shunning a certain Christian. Christians SHOULD be heartbroken if they need to do such a thing - But, if they do it coldly . . . :(

>>> I don't think we are educated on how this is to be done. It doesn't seem to be part of our mentality. And it can be VERY difficult.

All in all, a very sad situation for all concerned, and most difficult for the couple themselves. :(


I think i treat everyone kindly, maybe too much so. (LOL Didn't Lisa just tell me i was "too nice" a few weeks ago? Maybe it was Tori?) I like to err on the nice side but be ready to stand up to people when absolutely necessary or specifically asked my opinion.
Author:  Anna1111 [ Sat Sep 02, 2017 1:32 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Wedding and shunning.
So sorry that it was all so difficult for YOU, Sis! (((Hugs)))

Hope the young couple grows closer to Christ in time
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