It is currently Thu Mar 28, 2024 4:38 am

HSC AffiliatesClick here for our affiliate link to Christianbook.comDonate to HSC





Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 6 posts ] 
Author Message
 Post subject: Wedding and shunning.
PostPosted: Sun Aug 27, 2017 10:39 am 
Offline

Joined: Sat Jun 30, 2012 5:22 pm
Posts: 8837
I had the opportunity to sit with the "unwashed" at my nephew's wedding. What an eye-opener!

There were 8 from our family at the wedding with probably 200 or so guests! My sil was excluded from all participation except being escorted to her seat. She was not invited nor allowed to participate in the pre-wedding traditions of decorating or rehearsal dinner or anything.

This was a "Christian" wedding but our family was basically shunned the entire time. The father of the bride was only introduced to us because my brother caught him off-guard and it would've been painfully awkward not to perform the handshake and "glad to meet yous".

My sister is difficult to be sure. I'm not sure how *I* would have treated her and her mother if i was in their shoes. She's loud, obnoxious, foul-mouthed, blasphemous, and i'm pretty sure she was loaded (acted drunk without the alcohol) but this WAS her baby marrying into their family. I sat next to her and she was trying so hard to ignore the shunning and just enjoy her baby's wedding. From my viewpoint, she seemed to be the bigger person in this situation.

There was a book there to write a verse for the couple to take into their new life. I wanted to write:

But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;
That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust. For if ye love them which love you, what reward have ye? do not even the publicans the same? And if ye salute your brethren only, what do ye more than others? do not even the publicans so? Matt 5:44+


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Wedding and shunning.
PostPosted: Sun Aug 27, 2017 2:17 pm 
Offline

Joined: Sat Jun 30, 2012 6:58 pm
Posts: 5828
Oh my they sound like awful people. Who treats people that way? My feelings are its only 9ne day and anyone can be civil for a day!

My dd went to a party recently and texted me that a very unwanted and unexpected guest was there. I told her to be kind and enjoy herself. I told her to put herself in that person's shoes and know that they probably feel very out of place. So be nice and greet them.

Underneath all our differences we are all people and we all can relate to how it feels to be the shunned one. Those doing the shunning need more prayer than the shunnee usually!


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Wedding and shunning.
PostPosted: Sun Aug 27, 2017 3:07 pm 
Offline

Joined: Sat Jun 30, 2012 3:05 pm
Posts: 3524
Location: Central TX
I tend to like loud and obnoxious people, because what you see us what you get. I feel like they're trustworthy and usually very nice/friendly. They may be tiring to be around all the time, but one day should not be so hard, especially if she's the mother of one of the people getting married. So sad she, and all of you, were treated like that.

_________________
Mom to Christian (13), Saphira (10), Xavier (5), and Adrian (2).


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Wedding and shunning.
PostPosted: Sat Sep 02, 2017 12:31 pm 
Offline

Joined: Sat Jun 30, 2012 7:14 pm
Posts: 8115
Sorry your feelings were hurt, Sis! (((Hugs)))

This is a very complex question- and not so easy to give a pat answer to

You said it's a "Christian" wedding. Does that mean that the Bride & Groom are BOTH Christian? And your Sister, too?

If your Sister is a "Christian" but (as you say) a "Blasphemer" and "loaded" (on something other than alcohol? :? )- then the Bible commands "not to even eat" with her. But if she is a non-Believer, and her son IS a Believer, that complicates matters. And, if the marriage is between a non-Believer & a Believer - that is even MORE difficult!

To complicate matters - is there also a divorce situation, where maybe the Groom's parents couldn't sit together?

I was just reading II Cor the other day, where St. Paul talks about his personal anguish at shunning a certain Christian. Christians SHOULD be heartbroken if they need to do such a thing - But, if they do it coldly . . . :(

All in all, a very sad situation for all concerned, and most difficult for the couple themselves. :(

_________________
http://stuffedveggies.blogspot.com/


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Wedding and shunning.
PostPosted: Sat Sep 02, 2017 1:19 pm 
Offline

Joined: Sat Jun 30, 2012 5:22 pm
Posts: 8837
Anna1111 wrote:
Sorry your feelings were hurt, Sis! (((Hugs)))

This is a very complex question- and not so easy to give a pat answer to

You said it's a "Christian" wedding. Does that mean that the Bride & Groom are BOTH Christian? And your Sister, too?

>>> Yes, the bride's parents said they would not agree to a marriage unless the groom was also a Christian. The couple has been living together for a couple of years anyway and that nearly vetoes a big wedding imho but i know others don't feel that way. He became a Christian at some point, i guess.

If your Sister is a "Christian" but (as you say) a "Blasphemer" and "loaded" (on something other than alcohol? :? )- then the Bible commands "not to even eat" with her. But if she is a non-Believer, and her son IS a Believer, that complicates matters. And, if the marriage is between a non-Believer & a Believer - that is even MORE difficult!

>>> Oh no! SHE is definitely NOT a Christian. She advocates for witches and all kinds of spiritualism but not Christ.


To complicate matters - is there also a divorce situation, where maybe the Groom's parents couldn't sit together?

>>> No divorce.

I was just reading II Cor the other day, where St. Paul talks about his personal anguish at shunning a certain Christian. Christians SHOULD be heartbroken if they need to do such a thing - But, if they do it coldly . . . :(

>>> I don't think we are educated on how this is to be done. It doesn't seem to be part of our mentality. And it can be VERY difficult.

All in all, a very sad situation for all concerned, and most difficult for the couple themselves. :(


I think i treat everyone kindly, maybe too much so. (LOL Didn't Lisa just tell me i was "too nice" a few weeks ago? Maybe it was Tori?) I like to err on the nice side but be ready to stand up to people when absolutely necessary or specifically asked my opinion.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Wedding and shunning.
PostPosted: Sat Sep 02, 2017 1:32 pm 
Offline

Joined: Sat Jun 30, 2012 7:14 pm
Posts: 8115
So sorry that it was all so difficult for YOU, Sis! (((Hugs)))

Hope the young couple grows closer to Christ in time

_________________
http://stuffedveggies.blogspot.com/


Top
 Profile  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 6 posts ] 

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Google [Bot] and 20 guests


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
cron
Theme designed by stylerbb.net © 2008
Powered by phpBB © 2000, 2002, 2005, 2007 phpBB Group
All times are UTC - 5 hours [ DST ]