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 Post subject: And so it begins. :(
PostPosted: Wed Aug 24, 2016 10:32 am 
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Joined: Sat Jun 30, 2012 5:22 pm
Posts: 8837
No, my mom's not at my house yet. 😜

But dd is complaining about the language her kids are picking up and the name-calling, and the entitlement and almost disrespectful attitudes since moving to a larger city.

She has confronted the parents of one boy once and gone over there again but they weren't home. How do you tell your kids to respond to name-calling from kids they are going to be around a lot?


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 Post subject: Re: And so it begins. :(
PostPosted: Wed Aug 24, 2016 4:26 pm 
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Joined: Sat Jun 30, 2012 6:58 pm
Posts: 5828
As a parent we sometimes have stay out of it and let kids work things out on their own. Its hard to do that! But there's going to be picking snd name calling etc no matter where they live. If it gets to a bullying stage then self defense classes or tkd or something to keep the child away from the situation as much as possibe AND build their self asteem at the same time may help.


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 Post subject: Re: And so it begins. :(
PostPosted: Wed Aug 24, 2016 4:33 pm 
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What KIND of name calling is it?

If it is a hateful thing (racial, profanity, mean spirited) then that's one thing.

If it is a friendly teasing, that's another.

And, not every "name calling" incident happens the way the parents think. For instance, I knew a child once who was poor, underprivileged and white who was being picked on (excluded & physically pushed around) by a wealthy, popular kid of another race. The underprivileged kid called the privileged kid a name in self defense, and the parents went ballistic (rather than trying to investigate the actual events).

A friendly sit-down with the other parents will probably help a lot more than a confrontation. And, to a certain extent, kids have to learn to "put up with" rather than being oversensitive about it.

They DO have to be forbidden to reciprocate/imitate.

One family member, when teased about the family surname just makes fun of his OWN name better than the person teasing him can do - and it shuts them right up : )

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 Post subject: Re: And so it begins. :(
PostPosted: Wed Aug 24, 2016 4:41 pm 
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One kid I knew had the best attitude when called names. He'd say things like.. I'm sorry you feel that way... or... if it makes you feel better to say it go ahead. He didnt get mad or anything just stated simply things that let people know it wasnt HIS problem, it wad the name callers! He was so matter of fact and brushed things aside. I dont know how he learned it.


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 Post subject: Re: And so it begins. :(
PostPosted: Wed Aug 24, 2016 4:48 pm 
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Location: Central TX
I was bullied a little when I was in Middle school and I just ignored it. I avoided the people as much as I could and ignored the name calling, never bothered my parents about it. It worked for me and things never escalated, they eventually moved on, when I didn't take the bait. That is what I would encourage my kids to do. Ignore and avoid, don't respond other than to defend yourself if it gets physical, and then get help from an adult if that happens.

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 Post subject: Re: And so it begins. :(
PostPosted: Wed Aug 24, 2016 5:17 pm 
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On Catholic radio, they often say, "Don't prepare the path for your child, prepare your child for the path."

Barring extreme abuse, I think the best course of action is teaching your child how to deal with others, rather than "straightening out" that other kid (tempting tho that may be ; )

"A gentle answer turns away wrath" may be a good verse for the kids to meditate on (as in Tory's example). or other similar verses

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