It is currently Fri Mar 29, 2024 2:19 am

HSC AffiliatesClick here for our affiliate link to Christianbook.comDonate to HSC





Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 12 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2
Author Message
 Post subject: Re: Things not going well,
PostPosted: Tue Sep 25, 2012 12:29 pm 
Offline

Joined: Sat Jun 30, 2012 2:58 pm
Posts: 1095
Linda, I'm not sure where I first saw the following thing, but came across it this morning while sorting papers on the desk. To me there is much wisdom in this and that is why I have kept it...

S (Separate - mentally from the spouse/child/situation, so you don't get worked up yourself)
A (pay encouraging/positive Attention to your spouse/child)
L (Listen to your spouse/child without your thoughts/ideas interfering with what they are saying)
V (Validate your spouse's/child's feelings)
E (Enable your spouse/child to move on)

I found the validation bit really amazing and powerful when I first started doing this. Problems would kind of just magically melt away when I wasn't trying to solve them for my children. The enabling bit just seemed to follow naturally. * These are not my words, but the words of the original poster. I do agree wholeheartedly with it though.

When we can become less emotionally involved in any give situation, it is easier to let things go, or allow others to be responsible for their own issues and outcomes. It is just SO HARD to step back and not take things personally. At least it is for me, but I'm getting so much better at keeping things in perspective and remembering even if something was said to/at me, it really wasn't personal. I just happened to be the person they are venting at. Hang in there.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Things not going well,
PostPosted: Tue Sep 25, 2012 2:26 pm 
Offline

Joined: Sat Jun 30, 2012 6:58 pm
Posts: 5828
Pam said, "When we can become less emotionally involved in any give situation, it is easier to let things go, or allow others to be responsible for their own issues and outcomes."

A good friend of mine told me this once a long time ago.. almost word for word. At the time I didn't understand it. I was like "What?? But I LOVE this person, how can I NOT be emotionally involved!??!"
But after a while it began to make more and more sence. It was hard to let go and allow others to learn on their own, but it was so freeing when I was finally able to make that seperation from the person and the situation they were getting themself in. Also, without my "help" they learned faster and *I* had more peace!


Top
 Profile  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 12 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 28 guests


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
cron
Theme designed by stylerbb.net © 2008
Powered by phpBB © 2000, 2002, 2005, 2007 phpBB Group
All times are UTC - 5 hours [ DST ]