Tory wrote:
Anna, consider that she may be hurting. She lost a brother when he was about her age.
I know it's no excuse for bad behaviour, but it is something to consider that she may be struggling with it.
My dc have all gone through stages of their grief. My ds is going through another stage right now, in fact.
They (our dc) dont' want to discuss it with us because they think it'll make us sad or upset. Sometimes WE have to be the ones to bring it up in a quiet moment... when they will feel like sharing.
That's true her brother was almost exactly the same age she is now within just a few days or so,
It is practically impossible for us to talk too much about his death because my older kids and my dh are still very upset because the DA here continues to delay going to trial for no good reason that we can tell, it is a very touchy subject.
I'm also not the best one to bring certain subjects up, especially since this topic is brought up to me often by my mother, she blames me or my dh with his death, she doesn't say it directly so much now, but she makes me think that I should have been able to either prevent his death or make the DA bring this to trial faster, depending on her mood, she can say some very hurtful things.
Then both of my siblings, and lots of my extended relatives will have absolutely nothing to do with us because of my sons death, and because of the trouble my second oldes was involved in a couple of years ago, all of them seem to think I can do things I can't, or blame me with things I have no control over, or want me to be divorced or to put my kids in public school etc,
And it does get wearying at times because I have no one I can really talk to much about his death who won't in turn hurt me severly emotionally.
She is having more good days now than she had been, when we were going to the other church she had so many bad days I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown I think.
Now her bad days come mostly when she is extremely overtired, or when she's having contact with anyone from that church, I can always tell when she's been talking to them because her behaviour gets to be horrible and it is very stressful.
I will be glad when she has passed this year truthfully, I held my breath when her older brother was this age, because I was afraid he would not make it to see 19 but he's 22 now, I still worry about him, but this year I think is the hardest because it's the same age that Jonathan was when he was killed.